RESPECT

Replies

• ME

  Member

  Mar 16, 2018

  Totally agree.

  Perhaps it should be part of the nudie code that if someone witnesses an injustice or lack of respect they are OBLIGATED to call it out. As in, it's not optional to ignore, but rather someone who ignores is complicit with the offender.

  I have textile friends who I have invited to the public FKK beach and they really really enjoy it, it's fun to see their perspective change. But in two instances a guy who thought he was really smooth under the radar kinda ruined the whole experience for the woman/friend I was with. I was really pissed off. Sometimes I think maybe these people need a re-education in what is socially acceptable and what is not, clothed or unclothed.

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• MU

  

  MusicGuy1

  Mar 19, 2018

  This is an old topic but I will give my current thoughts:
  sometimes i just send a friend request to a female just to say hi. I have no intention of sitting on the site for 3 hours and typing to randoms so It really is just to say hi and to show NOT all guys are horn dogs messaging a female to hit on them or (etc.). Often times the ladies do not accept my hi or add because they assume I am a horn toad. Maybe the young ish guy thing is part of it for me.
  
  I've been in various online communities for years and I know you can have 50 really cool people and then 5 aholes and the 5 aholes can make a place seem bad. The negatives tend to stick in your mind: "hey that guy was annoying". It's true that some guys are horn dogs on here and I know the ladies get swarmed in their private messages... BUT, it's not all mens fault. Ladies should realize in that it is probably the same 25 guys on the prowl sending horny messages on this site and then there is the other 200+ of us that are laid back and very nice in general.
  
  The funny of everything is this: you think the horn toad guys are going to respect this thread: heck no (lol). People are who they are and it takes a lot of will power to change a set pattern of behavior/thought processes. So all of the guys that posted in this thread in agreement with the opening posts messages are the ones who were already respecting the ladies before the opening post was ever written haha.

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• NK

  

  nkhiker

  Mar 23, 2018

  This is not just a problem on this web site or in the nudist world. I suspect that it is some of the same men that are disrespectful here that are the ones getting called on the carpet in offices, Statehouses, and elsewhere. I am so glad that women are taking a stand on this. Certainly, the word is out that that kind of behavior is not acceptable. Unfortunately, web sites like this one will probably remain a places where they can act out because of the anonymity. I for one wish there was a nudist web site that was more selective, and men and women could communicate more normally.

  One last thought - I saw this on a profile a week ago. Paraphrasing - does it really matter if you are gay, straight or bi? Being a nudist is not supposed to be about sex. That is certainly idealistic, but a nice thought.

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• DI

  

  Ditchdoctor

  Jun 19, 2018

  Well put.

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• NU

  nudeyooper

  Jun 24, 2018

  The older generations have been complaining about the lack of respect and responsibility for millennia. What I frequently see is young people wanting to make this world a better place. They volunteer in their communities, and do well in their studies, and they work hard at their jobs. This; however, does not apply to all and it never has. We tend to focus on the negative and because of that bad behavior appears on the news and in social media. Find a political candidate who advertises a positive only campaign without making his or her opponent look like a bad choice and you probably have found the loser of that election. They do because it works.

  Our president uses this tactic almost daily, and I believe that the example he sets is being followed by many more than at any previous time. It is still for the most part a civil society when dealing with someone face to face, but the anonymity of the Internet has brought out the worst in us.

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• BE

  

  Berky

  Jun 26, 2018

  Sometimes I think a lot of people think this is just another hook up site. The naked body can be respectfully admired without adding the sexual quotient to it. No different from admiring somebody that is nicely clothed. Show some manners. There are a lot of trolls here so just block them and move on.

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• SM

  

  smoothbear

  Aug 1, 2018

  You ae right. Nudism is about undressing among like minded people. There is a certain excitement that goes with it, but this should not mean taking women as pure sexual objects by men.

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• PA

  

  Paul

  Aug 1, 2018

  [quote]Sometimes I think a lot of people think this is just another hook up site. The naked body can be respectfully admired without adding the sexual quotient to it. No different from admiring somebody that is nicely clothed. Show some manners. There are a lot of trolls here so just block them and move on.[/quote] Many of these so called nudist sites are run as the meaning of nudist means sex and I have looked at some and that what they look like and that is most likely the reason people get confused and by pushing the gallery so much also that people think that the photos are just taken from other sites and other than the gallery belong to the person who has posted then on this site.

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• JO

  

  John

  Aug 15, 2018

  I am against making it certified members only because it effectively bars fledgling nudists who use this site to find out about nudism.
  They will be too shy to comply with the certification rules but in my experience you can easily reassure the genuine about the lack of sexuality and/or disillusion those who are looking for sex, especially in private chat.
  I realise that is not to everybody's taste but it is an important part of the job that sites like this should be performing.

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• JE

  

  Jeff

  Aug 15, 2018

  I'm so passionate about the nudist lifestyle that I get saddened when others don't respect it like I do. I think nudism is the most beautiful thing there is and it is not to be degraded into sex (unless in appropriate venues). But so many others don't get that. Not sure we'll ever make them understand. What is the solution here? IMHO just keep educating people, or you may unintentionally weed out newcomers that you would want to understand how we true nudists feel about the lifestyle. At least that's what I think.

  Jeff

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• JI

  

  Jim

  Aug 17, 2018

  [quote]Sadly when even a "true" nudist website gets it twisted with their advertising about "You're Missing A Lot", with hands over privates, what many men and unfortunately even some women now, need to understand, as a TRUE nudist, or naturist in my case, it's tiresome to be objectified, hit on, gawked at, space invaded, inappropriate comments, advances and even worse... SHOW RESPECT. If you want more women to feel safe being nude than be a real man and show some class or at least human decency. It's bad enough when it happens on a "true" nudist website but when it happens at public nude beaches, private resorts... it's enough to discourage even me, a pretty bold woman, who has no problem calling inappropriateness out, pause and reconsideration to public nudity. Keep it clean and fun on here and in public and more woman may feel safe enough to feel the joy of being nude.[/quote] This was always nagging me ( the ad), but I also want to say if you need a hand off in calling it out or just back up please send me a message with a pointer to the problem area. I try my best to do it as some of the really crass stuff arises but I miss things and I am also far from perfect. I am also deeply sorry that such a thoughtful person (judging by your words) has to experience what I know to be true about our spaces, virtual or physical. Women need to feel safe to feel free. Why can't we all get behind that and this poster's (love2be) simple call for RESPECT? Hurts my heart.

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• JI

  

  Jim

  Aug 17, 2018

  [quote]Sadly the lack of respect is not just exclusive to this site. It happens and has happened out in the "real world" for quite some time. Times have changed and it's like younger guys aren't taught how to treat a women. I work in construction, and have worked with several females and it's like open season on crude comments and especially profanity...and the women take just so they can feel like "one of the guys."My hat's off to Love2BinMyGlory and all the women on this site. Guys don't be crude, open that door, pull out that chair, take off your hat, and have some respect.[/quote]
  
  I really want us to try to consider not throwing ageism into the mix. Obviously, life long nudist and naturist mature and decent men are examples of the community and so they should be. But those aren't the only nude older men in the mix. Just as the young, deliberately naive and aggressively demeaning young men (in trades or on wall street same trash) are not indicative of all young men. I work with young nudists at a remove (albeit mostly GBTQ) and they are laser sharp on issues of oppression and accommodation. My point is not that you're wrong, the examples are right, but they aren't universal.
  
  Values are shared, and socially mandated, mediated, and enforced. We all know there is a gap in older nudies and younger ones, and less taking it up at least in the traditional groups. But to the OP's point, young women, hyper aware and very empowered who go to try nudism are almost always repulsed by some truly epic BS. Then it is done. And they tell their friends, and the men who they know won't try because young single men find it very hard and it can be isolating, partly their actions partly suspicions as traditions. I've watched it unfold on our beach. Two self proclaimed beach cops were trying to almost strip people...and chased a woman and her partner through the trees out the lawn... and of course, this was the story that was in the paper...not the textile harassment and sexual assaults on other beaches, not the constant pictures gawking rude comments.
  
  The papers reported this as if we all had endorsed the men (not tried to oust them). Hundreds of comments about our perversions and the children and how they will never be one now. So, in Toronto, gay and bi nudism has exploded because we are not subject to aspersions about morality not already in play (and our lawyer happens to be the architect of the beach clothing optional and seasonal event nudity allowance), younger gay and bi men are picking it up, and the mainstream mixed groups struggle because IF the media (and social media is young people and social media drives the public interest trends) has nudism in the front sections, it's a hit piece on how shit we are. It's true misogyny and sexism are rampant. But these pieces pretend it's in the 50 nude folx and magically not in the 400 textiles.
  
  The solution is to demand that the cities and states and municipals who run the beach next to every nude beach seriously work to combat sexism and create ways for women to be safe and comfortable. Hand out tickets. Put the party pigs on a barge in the water. Women's only shade and seating spaces (small ones but refuges with an attendant)... and when the textiles take charge of this issue, the sore thumbs in our groups will emerge and can be encouraged to reform or step off. We do this already at our beach but it's 99% textiles causing the problem.
  
  Also, yes, society is a mess, but violent crime is down in the US since the 60's, Nazi Germany was pretty bad, so was the civil war and slavery, and so on. Sure, respect is not taught. Nor is it given. Why is that? Whose fault is it? I'm a college teacher and I teach young people. I find none of the stuff everyone says is their way. I also make a point to teach humanism and fundamental respect for all. I love the cranky older members but lord, some of the vitriol (ok we all can be a bit pointy) has no respect in it at all...as some of the stuff posted by younger members is also off key. But as older men and women, is it not OUR responsibility to educated and help those who are just arriving rather than stomp on them for what they don't know? It's not like there is a President who leads in that regard. Which is the most tragic thing but that is not the fault of the kids. It's important to find the bad and to root it out, but let's please not dismiss youth as lost and degraded. We need young people for the future and I can only teach so many.

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• JE

  

  Jeff

  Aug 17, 2018

  Kind of interesting that this thread is in my feed on the day of Aretha Franklin's death.

  RIP Aretha

  Jeff

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• DE

  

  dennudedude

  Aug 30, 2018

  Well said. It seems that so many of the younger generation are simply not taught how to be polite, and to show respect for others. Unfortunately, there may not be any way to reverse the trend.

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