T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 31, 2013Jokes in Sequential Order
Below are a few jokes; each joke is linked by a common noun to the previous joke.
Copy and paste the last joke into your post (don't quote or the quotes could get ridiculously long).
Type a joke using a common noun from the previous joke.
The next person will need to copy and paste your joke and add a new joke and so on and so on.
PLEASE LIST ONLY ONE JOKE AT A TIME.
Aredneckpassed away and left his estate in trust for his beloved widow, she can't touch it until she's 14.
A defrockedPriest, aredneck, a 14 year old cheerleader and a horse walk into a massage parlor...oops, sorry that's not a joke, that's an upcoming episode of "Law & Order SVU"
APriest, a Rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar,the bartendersays, What is this a joke?
Ahorsewalks into a bar, thebartendersays, Why the long face?
A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds hishorsehas been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town.The bartenderwalks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to walk home."
Below are a few jokes; each joke is linked by a common noun to the previous joke.
Copy and paste the last joke into your post (don't quote or the quotes could get ridiculously long).
Type a joke using a common noun from the previous joke.
The next person will need to copy and paste your joke and add a new joke and so on and so on.
PLEASE LIST ONLY ONE JOKE AT A TIME.
Aredneckpassed away and left his estate in trust for his beloved widow, she can't touch it until she's 14.
A defrockedPriest, aredneck, a 14 year old cheerleader and a horse walk into a massage parlor...oops, sorry that's not a joke, that's an upcoming episode of "Law & Order SVU"
APriest, a Rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar,the bartendersays, What is this a joke?
Ahorsewalks into a bar, thebartendersays, Why the long face?
A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds hishorsehas been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town.The bartenderwalks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to walk home."
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ManOfWicklowFeb 1, 2013A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds hishorsehas been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town.The bartenderwalks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to walk home."
On New Years Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted everyhusbandto be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck thebartenderwas almost crushed to deathReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 1, 2013On New Years Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted everyhusbandto be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.
Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck thebartenderwas almost crushed to death
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Ahusbandand his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger than him. Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 1, 2013A husband and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a goodfairycame to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger than him. Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into afairy.The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 1, 2013A blonde, a brunette, and aredheadare crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into afairy.The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of
prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics.
"Crap!"
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A doctor. had been married to aredheadfor ten years. One day he told he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making". Shortly thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also a Doctor.
"Why?" asked her hubby.
"You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making; I just wanted to get a second opinion", she told him.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 2, 2013Adoctor. had been married to aredhead for ten years. One day he told he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making". Shortly thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also a Doctor.
"Why?" asked her hubby.
"You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making; I just wanted to get a second opinion", she told him.
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Adoctoris going about his business, with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear.
He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: "Damn, some asshole has my pen!"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 2, 2013Adoctoris going about his business, with arectalthermometer tucked behind his ear.
He goes into a staff meeting to discuss the days activities, when a co-worker asks why he has a thermometer behind his ear?
In a wild motion he grabs for the thermometer, looks at it and exclaims: "Damn, some asshole has my pen!"
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So I went in for my regular checkup. I'm 34 years old now and my doctor thought it would be a good idea to check me out down below. I was not prepared for us to get that intimate, but I agreed to arectalexam. My doctor proceeded to probe around and the whole time I could not stop thinking, "Maybe its time I found a new dentist."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 2, 2013So I went in for my regular checkup. I'm 34 years old now and my doctor thought it would be a good idea to check me out down below. I was not prepared for us to get that intimate, but I agreed to a rectal exam. My doctor proceeded to probe around and the whole time I could not stop thinking, "Maybe its time I found a newdentist."
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A woman phoned herdentistwhen she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.
"This is three times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 2, 2013Awomanphoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.
"This is three times what you normally charge."
"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like awoman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 2, 2013
A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.
Thesergeantgives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!"
As scared as they are, they all make it out the door.
The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand.
Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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Asergeantwas addressing a squad of 20 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 19 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble, sarge."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 2, 2013A sergeant was addressing a squad of 20 and said: "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest." 19 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the otherman"why didn't you raise your hand?" The man replied: "Too much trouble, sarge."
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One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create amanfor you."
"What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?"
Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 2, 2013One day in the Garden of Eden,Evecalls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and all of this beautiful garden and all of these amazing animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create amanfor you."
"What's a man, Lord?" "Man will be a flawed creature, with many wreteched traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But... he'll be bigger, stronger, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll make him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds wonderful!" says Eve, " but what's the catch, Lord?"
Well... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?" "As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret... You know, woman to woman."
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him howEvewas created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 3, 2013Apolicemanin the big city stops a man in a car with a monkey in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that monkey?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the monkey again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that monkey to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"
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A little girl is riding her bike and comes to a cross walk with apolicemansitting on a horse. The policeman said to the little girl thats a nice bike did Santa bring that to you? The girl said yes he did. The policeman looked it over and pulled out his ticket pad and wrote her a five dollar ticket and said next Christmas tell Santa to put reflectors on it. The girl said thats a nice horse did Santa bring that to you? The policeman said yes he did. The girl said, "Well, tell Santa the dick goes on the bottom not on top!"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 3, 2013A little girl is riding her bike and comes to a cross walk with a policeman sitting on a horse. The policeman said to the little girl thats a nice bike did Santa bring that to you? The girl said yes he did. The policeman looked it over and pulled out histicketpad and wrote her a five dollar ticket and said next Christmas tell Santa to put reflectors on it. The girl said thats a nice horse did Santa bring that to you? The policeman said yes he did. The girl said, "Well, tell Santa the dick goes on the bottom not on top!"
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A husband was engrossed in a magazine while his wife was reading the newspaper. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Get this," she said. "Some guy put an ad in here offering to swap his wife for a seasonticketto the stadium."
"Hmmmmm," her husband mumbled, still engrossed in his magazine.
Wanting to test him, she asked, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not!" he said.
"That's so sweet," she replied. "Tell me why not."
"Heck, the season's more than half over!" he said.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 3, 2013A husband was engrossed in a magazine while his wife was reading the newspaper. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Get this," she said. "Some guy put an ad in here offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to thestadium."
"Hmmmmm," her husband mumbled, still engrossed in his magazine.
Wanting to test him, she asked, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not!" he said.
"That's so sweet," she replied. "Tell me why not."
"Heck, the season's more than half over!" he said.
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A guy named Joe receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at thestadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline.
He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, Joe asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man says "No."
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?!"
The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first SuperBowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," said Joe, "but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?" "No," the man replies, "They're all at the funeral."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 3, 2013A guy named Joe receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline.
He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, Joe asks thegentlemansitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man says "No."
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?!"
The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first SuperBowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967."
"Well, that's really sad," said Joe, "but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?" "No," the man replies, "They're all at the funeral."
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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderlygentleman--
already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 3, 2013Hospitalregulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.
However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
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A man is inHospitalbed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are my testicles black?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 3, 2013A man is in Hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse" he mumbles "are mytesticlesblack?"
The nurse raises his gown, holds his cock in one hand and his balls in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them sir." Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly: "Thanks for that. It was lovely but listen very very carefully ... Are-my-test-results-back?!"
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Thetesticlesof a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the rightside... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 3, 2013The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem.
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doctor put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doctor, and as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the rightside... then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side.
The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt.
The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his boys were no longer aching.
The doctor said, "How does that feel now?"
The midget replied, "Perfect Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do?"
The doctor replied "I cut two inches off the top of yourcowboy boots."
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An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authenticcowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, ' notice anything different about me'? Margaret looked him over. "Nope'. Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, ' Notice anything different NOW'? Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!' Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET? ' Nope', she replied. IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW COWBOY BOOTS!!!!
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, ' Shoulda bought a hat Bert, shoulda bought a hat.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 3, 2013An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved toTexas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, ' notice anything different about me'? Margaret looked him over. "Nope'. Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, ' Notice anything different NOW'? Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!' Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET? ' Nope', she replied. IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW COWBOY BOOTS!!!!
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, ' Shoulda bought a hat Bert, shoulda bought a hat.
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Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his newTexasmission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn....
He promptly called the local police station.
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,..."Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"
Father O'Malley replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, .....but we are also
obliged to notify the next of kin."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 3, 2013Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his frontlawn.... He promptly called the local police station. "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,..."Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"
Father O'Malley replied: "Aye, tis certainly true, .....but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
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Michael O'Leary was waiting at the bus stop with his friend, Paddy Maguire, when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf.
O'Leary opined, 'I'm gonna do that when I win de lottery, Maguire." 'What's that, Michael?' responds his mate.
"Send melawnaway to be cut." concludes O'Leary.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 4, 2013Michael O'Leary was waiting at thebusstop with his friend, Paddy Maguire, when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf.
O'Leary opined, 'I'm gonna do that when I win de lottery, Maguire." 'What's that, Michael?' responds his mate.
"Send me lawn away to be cut." concludes O'Leary.
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A man standing at abusstop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the mans supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 4, 2013A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the mans supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady. "Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked thedogup and threw it over a wall.
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A Dog's Poem
The dogs they had a meeting.
And they come from near and far.
Some came on bicycles,
And some of them came by car.
Y'know, before they could enter,
Or even take a look,
They had to take their asshole off,
And hang it on a hook.
But before they even got seated,
Every mother, pup, and sire,
An olddoghollered from the back,
"Run for your life. It's a FIRE!"
The crowd of dogs began to panic,
And nobody stopped to look.
They grabbed the nearest asshole,
Off the very nearest hook.
And this is why, even today,
A dog will drop a nice juicy bone,
And go to smell another dog's ass,
To see if it's not his own.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowFeb 4, 2013The dogs they had a meeting.
And they come from near and far.
Some came on bicycles,
And some of them came by car.
Y'know, before they could enter,
Or even take a look,
They had to take theirassholeoff,
And hang it on a hook.
But before they even got seated,
Every mother, pup, and sire,
An olddoghollered from the back,
"Run for your life. It's a FIRE!"
The crowd of dogs began to panic,
And nobody stopped to look.
They grabbed the nearest asshole,
Off the very nearest hook.
And this is why, even today,
A dog will drop a nice juicy bone,
And go to smell another dog's ass,
To see if it's not his own.
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Amanhad just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.
He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "Myassholeitches, and I can't scratch it!"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 4, 2013A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.
He thought, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.
He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.
"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."
"Dancing? That wasn't adance.!" the armless man replied bitterly ... "My asshole itched, and I couldn't scratch it!"
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There was adanceteacher who talked of a very old dance called "The Politicians."
"All you have to do" she told her class "is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step side-step and turn around."ReactReply