Skip to content
MA
ManOfWicklow

Humor and Fun

More Short Jokes BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

Posted Sep 28, 2013

Replies76
MA
ManOfWicklow
ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
Sep 28, 2013
Condoms aren't completely safe.  A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
ReactReplySubscribe

Replies

  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Jun 26, 2014
    Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond but by the end you wish you had a club and a spade.
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Jul 20, 2014
    Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
    Dad: That happens in every country, son.
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Jul 29, 2014
    The American attempt at scaling Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding.
    ReactReply
  • NU
    NudeJohnny
    NudeJohnny
    Aug 10, 2014
    [quote]The American attempt at scaling Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding.[/quote]American hater?
    ReactReply
  • LA
    Lakeman221
    Lakeman221
    Aug 12, 2014
    [quote]I took a trip to Hollywood, I didn't see any stars.
    [/quote]Try going at night.
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 12, 2014
    I've never gone to bed with any ugly women, but I sure have woken up with a few.
    ReactReply
  • NU
    nudecountry77
    Aug 12, 2014
    [quote]I've never gone to bed with any ugly women, but I sure have woken up with a few.
    [/quote]  you must have had your beer goggles on, before bed
    ReactReply
  • DE
    DesertRat
    DesertRat
    Aug 12, 2014
    A couple hooked up in a bar. They were ready to get it on when he dropped his trou. She looked at him and exclaimed "Who do you expect to please with that little thing?" He quickly shot back "ME!"
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 13, 2014
    Wife to her  husband, "I come home with a little semen in my hair, and right away you jump to conclusions."
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 14, 2014
    What men do after orgasm:
    5% Pee
    5% Sleep
    90% Clear history

    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2014
    I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday she said 'Just gimme something with diamonds.'   I got her a pack of cards.
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 14, 2014
    You know it's going to be a bad day when your imaginary friend files a restraining order against you!

    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2014
    I said to Doctor "I broke my arm in two places" and he replied"stop going to those places"
    ReactReply
  • AL
    Allan
    Allan
    Aug 16, 2014
    [quote]I took a trip to Hollywood, I didn't see any stars.
    [/quote]
    Try getting MUGGED next time....

    ;~)°






    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 16, 2014
    Q: What do you call a surprised Chinese man?    A: Ho Lee Fuk
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 16, 2014
    I've joined a motorcycle club for seniors:
    "The Old As Hell Angels"

    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 16, 2014
    Picture a nun wearing daisy dukes, then try not to laugh.
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 16, 2014
    Picture Daisy Duke wearing none.
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Sep 1, 2014
    Have you noticed how many stupid people have smart phones?
    ReactReply
  • NU
    nudecountry77
    Sep 1, 2014
    [quote]Have you noticed how many stupid people have smart phones?
    [/quote]so does that make them SMART?
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Sep 1, 2014
    Nope! Stupid is stupid.
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Sep 17, 2014
    Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid stuff...is fired!
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Oct 16, 2014
    We were pulling up to the hotel on our honeymoon, my new wife felt very foolish that she was on her honeymoon. She turned to me and asked, “what can we do to hide the fact that we are on our honeymoon?” I thought a second and replied, “you carry the luggage!”
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Oct 16, 2014
    A young man was walking past a blind woman using a cane on a street corner downtown, when she said,
    "Excuse me, but if it's not too much trouble, can you see me across the street?"
    Our good Samaritan replied, "Just a minute." He walked across the street, looked back and yelled, "Yes, I can see you fine!"

    ReactReply