MA
ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
Sep 28, 2013Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
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- MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterOct 30, 2014A bloke walks into library and asked the assistant:
'Do you have any books on suicide''No chance', says the librarian, 'You wont bring it back!'ReactReply - NO
noodengr2Oct 30, 2014what 3 word phrase , each word is only 2 letters long, is the worst thing a man can hear?
Is it in?ReactReply - T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOct 30, 2014I was told I was ten times more likely to get mugged in Los Angeles than in London?
That's probably because I don't live in LondonReactReply - LA
Lakeman221Nov 11, 2014[quote]Have you noticed how many stupid people have smart phones?
[/quote]
Smart phones can even make smart people stupid. Happens all the time, and they don't even realize it, until it's too late. By then, they are too stupid to notice.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 27, 2014I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isnt wearing a seat belt!"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 27, 2014I had sex this week. It was really freakin' great, too: all hot and greasy.
It smelled like garlic and extra cheese...wait....wait.....
Pizza...that's what I had: pizza!ReactReply - LALakeman221Nov 27, 2014[quote]I had sex this week. It was really freakin' great, too: all hot and greasy.
It smelled like garlic and extra cheese...wait....wait.....
Pizza...that's what I had: pizza!
[/quote]You had sex with your PIZZA? That's kinda kinky.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 27, 2014Dad: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but he also admitted he did it. Now, son, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Son: "Because he still had the axe in his hand?"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 28, 2014Q: What do the England footbal team and Posh Spice both have in common?
A: They've both been screwed by David Beckham.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 28, 2014"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," said Jack as he stepped out of the shower.
"Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterNov 28, 2014A farmer wrote to a giant mail order company and asked the price of their toilet paper.
The company wrote back and told him to look on page #287.
He wrote another letter back, "If I had your catalog, I wouldn't need your toilet paper."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 28, 2014A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyNov 29, 2014Roses are red
Here's something new,
Violets are violet,
Not f*cking blue!ReactReply - MI
MitchFeb 22, 2015Two guys walk into a bar,which is stupid because the second guy should have seen the first guy hit it.
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyFeb 22, 2015Two guys, a Priest, a Rabbi, a blonde and a brunette, followed by a redneck with a frog walk into a bar,
"The bartender says, "No! No! Stop! This thread is for Short Jokes."ReactReply - DE
DesertRatFeb 22, 2015A man and woman were having safe sex. He was wearing a condom for protection. It didn't work. Her husband shot him dead.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyMar 7, 2015Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterMar 7, 2015Q: How does every ethnic joke start? A: By looking over your shoulder.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyMar 7, 2015Paddy lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup, a famous Australian horserace.
He also lost another hundred on the television replay.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterMar 7, 2015"Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyMar 7, 2015An out-of-towner was driving through a small town in Montana and passed a restaurant. He wanted to make a U-turn, but saw a police officer just up ahead. He pulls up and asks the officer, "Excuse me, but can you make a u-turn?" The officer looks at the fella and says, "Well hell yeah! I can even make her eyes bug out!"ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowOriginal PosterMar 7, 2015Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world?
Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheepReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyMar 7, 2015There was a famous jockey that never lost a race.
When asked how he achieved this,he replied,
I whisper in the horse's ear:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Horses that lose are made into glue.ReactReply - DS
David SipeMar 10, 2015Husband looking in the mirror said to his wife Honey look at this six pack.
Wife to husband The only six pack you ever had were the ones you pick up at the carry outReactReply