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ManOfWicklow

Humor and Fun

One-Liners

Posted Jul 10, 2011

Replies93
MA
ManOfWicklow
ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
Jul 10, 2011

The trouble with political jokes is...............They usually get elected.

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Replies

  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Jul 23, 2011

    I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Jul 23, 2011

    Just remember, spiders like flies, so keep yours zipped up.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Jul 23, 2011

    I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Jul 23, 2011

    If God had intended for man to use the metric system,
    Jesus would have only had ten disciples!

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Jul 24, 2011
    [quote]I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.[/quote]   Said the blood thirsty ex wife.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Jul 29, 2011

    What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife ?   A murder suspect.

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  • NA
    NakedNTx
    NakedNTx
    Jul 29, 2011
    On a serious note (forgive me)                         In life, pain is inescapable and mandatory.   Sufferingis optional.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 10, 2011

    “If I had a nickel for every time I said ‘if I had a nickel’ then I’d have just earned myself 10 quick cents right there.”

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 11, 2011

    I'm lost for word's

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 11, 2011

    It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, oh wait a minute, yes it is.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 11, 2011
    [quote]It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, oh wait a minute, yes it is.[/quote]  I like my dogs with plenty of ketchup and fried onion.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 13, 2011
    [quote]we all have a "superpower"......  we can stop a speeding bullet once, but its gonna hurt like hell.[/quote] I am not going to be RollingOnTheFloorLaughingOutLoud, but that's funny.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 13, 2011

    Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.

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  • TO
    TonyJ63
    TonyJ63
    Aug 13, 2011

    Took delivery of my new epileptic coat the other day... it fits!

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 13, 2011

    Light travels faster than sound, This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2011

    Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2011

    It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2011

    What is Iraq's national bird.  Duck.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2011
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 14, 2011

    Go braless, it pulls the wrinkles from your face.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 19, 2011

    A shotgun marriage is a case of wife or death.

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklowOriginal Poster
    Aug 19, 2011
    [quote] A shotgun marriage is a case of wife or death.[/quote]  It's wife, Jim, but not as we know it.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 19, 2011

    Haven't met Jim. How's his wife?

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Aug 19, 2011

    What word describes the practice of being married to only one woman at a time.  Mono-something.  Ah … oh yeah  … Monotony.

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