T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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Replies
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 12, 2012My ex-wife phoned me and criticized the way I was dressed on a local TV Show.
It was COPS and I was being arrested.ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowJun 12, 2012A Blonde lost her memory, now she's forgotten how to act dumb.
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 14, 2012An ex is like an inflamed appendix, they cause a lot of pain and suffering,
but after it's removed you find you didn't need it anyway!ReactReply - JA
jaybirdsJun 14, 2012A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 14, 2012I thought I was going to be a happily married man, until then my wife decided to live with me.ReactReply
- JAjaybirdsJun 14, 2012When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harrasment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.ReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 14, 2012
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
ReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 14, 2012
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 14, 2012[quote]When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harrasment.
When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.[/quote]Your phone bills must cost a fortune, but don't worry, I won't tell your wife.ReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 14, 2012
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 14, 2012
Your Mama is so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had the correct change.
ReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 14, 2012
Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone.
ReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 14, 2012What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
Brothel sprouts.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 14, 2012My wife and I had just about ended one argument when I screwed up and started another one.
She suggested a little make-up sex, I guess it wasn't the right time for me to ask,
Does it have to be with you?ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 15, 2012
I no nothing about sex, I've always bee married.
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 15, 2012It wasn't long before I realized my wife and I had only one thing in common,
we got married on the same day.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 15, 2012I loved my girlfriend, Edith, but I was also seeing a barmaid named Kate.
When they found out about each other I learned you can’t have your Kate and Edith too.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 16, 2012Anything worth doing is worth overdoing a time or twoReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 16, 2012Don't put off til tomorrow, what you can put off forever.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 16, 2012I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 16, 2012Never forget to remember what you forgot to remember before you remember what you forgot, or you will forget what you remembered.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 17, 2012
If she's still ugly, Have another beer.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 17, 2012A few years ago someone stole my identity, was he surprised, I had outstanding warrantsReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 17, 2012Some guy kidnapped my wife, and said if you don't pay £10,000, you'll never see her again.
I Gave him a penny and thanked him for his kindness.ReactReply