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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 18, 2012One night I was getting dressed to go out when I heard,
"Bad Boy, Bad Boy, Whacha gonna do when they come for you?"
I was thinkin, is that show still on the air? when BAM, the front door crashed open.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 19, 2012The way our economy has been lately, the only thing I could put aside was my plans to retire.ReactReply
- JA
jaybirdsJun 19, 2012Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowJun 19, 2012[quote]Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?[/quote]Who wouldmake-upa story like that.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 19, 2012I find it easy to have sex at 95, well I only live at number 94.ReactReply
- JAjaybirdsJun 19, 2012If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him,
Is he still wrong?ReactReply - EV
EvansBetterHalfJun 19, 2012[quote]If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him,
Is he still wrong?[/quote]
Unequivocally.....yes.....LOLReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 19, 2012If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?ReactReply
- JAjaybirdsJun 19, 2012Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?ReactReply
- JAjaybirdsJun 19, 2012If the police arrest a mime, do they still tell him he has the right to remain silent?ReactReply
- JAjaybirdsJun 19, 2012A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 20, 2012An optimist says the glass is half full... a pessimist says the glass is half empty.
I don't care if it's half empty or half full. I wanna know, "Are there free refills?"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 20, 2012When there is a buy one get one free, offer. Just take the free one.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 20, 2012I always knew when my ex was about to say something smart.
She would start her sentence with "Tom once told me...."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 20, 2012My wife has always stood by my side, for over 30 years. We only have one chair.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 20, 2012My wife went with me everywhere I went, otherwise I would have had to kiss her goodbye.ReactReply
- JAjaybirdsJun 21, 2012A woman marries a man expecting that he will change, and he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 22, 2012Don't you hate it when you wake up staring at a ceiling you have never seen before?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 22, 2012[quote]Don't you hate it when you wake up staring at a ceiling you have never seen before?
[/quote]And wonder why you're lying on the floor.ReactReply - JAjaybirdsJun 22, 2012Is Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 22, 2012[quote]Is Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
[/quote]It's certainly a money trap.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 23, 2012Without nipples, boobs would be pointless. .ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 23, 2012I was the last customer at a liquor store the other night....
The cute girl at the register said... "strip down, facing me"....
I really should have known that she was talking about swiping my credit card...
The good news...bail is not nearly as expensive as I thought it would be!ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 23, 2012If you're ever a temp worker remember these eight words:
"It was like that when I got here."ReactReply