Single Males, the victims of perversion! — The Mens Room on True Nudists

WillGoldenOriginal Poster

Aug 12, 2009

DELETED AND REPLACED BY THE AUTHOR

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ME
Member
Dec 7, 2009
[quote]Jen… notty notty… This is the mens room. Kidding. thanks for your much needed point of view. Bman.[/quote] Oops! Sorry guys...Knock, knock!Jen
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CO
Curt, or Cowboy
Dec 7, 2009
[quote] Males -21,822(87%), Females - 1679 (just under 7%), Couples - 1535 (just over 6%). [/quote] Males to females, about 15 to 1, or almost exactly the same as most dating sites. Coincidence ?
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ME
Member
Dec 8, 2009
Once again:
Not challenging your ideology.
Only that in the real world, it doesn’t apply. And if I am not wrong , Cuddlebutton explained to you.
And for your point that women in a nudist setting are not looking for sex: I AGREE , but too many men ARE!
By the way , in our small notlanded club they have a very strickt policy about that , so very few times they accept single mens or women, always after an interview with the comity.
And even there we had an incident. What incident? A single men who didn’t left alone a single women until there was an intervention needed! ( needless to say , as far as I know , he is gone now!)
The damage done to this lady is already done.
And PLEASE , don’t tell me she shouldn’t be judging single men from now on. WHY SHOULDN’T SHE?
Stick around for a month. See the reality here ( which is very very controlled comparing to other sites.)
Than well talk about it again… for now , not going to keep arguing about that subject anymore.
Try also paying a visit to a nudist beach, check the reality of what happens there where there is no control.( once again , its not a sex fast , just pay attention when there!)
See how some men ( not all) behave!
And remember: yes , exceptions always exists but we live in a generalized world.
Good thing? Maybe yes , maybe not. But that’s the way it is!
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 8, 2009
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 8, 2009
You said you don't want to argue anymore, and honestly, neither do I. I just want to say that's you're just hearing what you want to hear. I did not say that women in a nudist resort are not looking for sex. I said that nudist resorts were not established for the purpose of having sex. There's a huge difference and I don't know how you connected the two. Even if you don't want to argue, I will respond to your statements because I'm still here and I'm willing to continue talking to anybody who's interested. Also, the following statements do not apply only to you, but also anybody who wants to use your arguments.
You're basic argument comes down to...it's okay to judge all single men and that's that. I've been publicly humiliated too, as I said before, but I did not have the right to make generalizations. Furthermore, this woman who was harrassed. You don't understand that if she weakens herself to stereotype, she lets this jerk who harrassed her win. Do you think that by stereotyping, she becomes a winner. Isn't becoming stronger the real victory, rather than living in fear and ignorance? September 11 was a very traumatic experience. But if that doesn't give us the right to judge Middle Eastern people that certainly doesn't give a woman who was bothered by one guy the right to judge all single guys. What's really funny in all this is that if a guy is nice, nobody would ever think that all guys are good and trustworthy people. Why? Because that would be foolish. But apparently its not foolish to think that all guys can't be trusted because of one?
I advise you to be careful. Today you defend this attitude, but one day it might happen in a way that you're not ready to accept as justified. This kind of attitude also leads to measures that are more extreme than anything happening on this site.
Anyway, I'm still here if anybody wants to say anything.
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 8, 2009
"check the reality of what happens there where there is no control"
I never said there should be no control. There always needs to be rules that are properly enforced. I'm saying that clubs, and nudists, should try a little harder. Exercise their brains a little bit and watch a man's conduct rather than just say, no single men.
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CO
Curt, or Cowboy
Dec 8, 2009
Thanks for the ref, Jen.
Lots of good stuff there !
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ME
Member
Dec 8, 2009
And thanks to NudeinMa for linking them for me! (Just didn't have time this morning before I rushed off to work) Really excellent, well written articles.
Jen
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CA
catbird
Dec 8, 2009
Will read those two articles that were linked by NudeinMa. I have printed them for reading at my leisure.
This subject is fraught with generalizations (the belief that many are that way means all are that way).
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 8, 2009
They are very good articles.
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ME
Member
Dec 8, 2009
[quote]Will read those two articles that were linked by NudeinMa. I have printed them for reading at my leisure. This subject is fraught with generalizations (the belief that many are that way means all are that way).[/quote] Printed?The trees!!!!kidding... Seriously! The trees!
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Cheri Donna Dawson
Dec 9, 2009
[quote]Tell me where you can find a single girl who is into nudism in a nudist park. SIngle women in nudist camps dont exist.[/quote] Yes, they do. They are also at nonlanded clubs. Travelites has a few as do some of the clubs, landed and non-landed that we visit. Hugs & happy holidays, Cheri
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 9, 2009
Hey Tanelk, thanks for responding. I'm very sorry about your wife. I agree with you said about businesses. I do the exact same thing and I'm not holding nudist organizations to a higher standard than anybody else. If a company wants my money, they better me treat me with respect and equally to all patrons. If there is no nearby resort that can do that...well, it's not essential to go a nudist resort. I can live without going. As for making friends, I'm happy to say that I've made about 25 friends already. I didn't send them a message in advance, but I did contact all of them after we became friends. They gave me a chance without requiring that I prove my innocence and I'm very appreciative of that. If they can do it, so can everybody else. I can respect people's need to be cautious, but it's important that everybody is treated the same. If you and I have to prove that we're decent people but a woman or couple can freely send requests, then it doesn't work. Some people are unhappy because they're receiving too many requests from single men. The reasons vary, some of them include "we've never spoken to them before, so why do they want to be friends" or "they didn't have full profiles". What is my intention for sending a friend request to someone I've never spoken to? To make friends. That's what a network is for. We're very lucky to have that opportunity. Without the Internet, most of us would be home nudists. The only way we would know about a nudist community is if someone said something on TV and even then we'd be wondering what it would be like to meet someone like us. We have that opportunity here. Some people might be thinking 'of course I want to make friends, but I have to know you first. I have to know that your intentions are good." Personally, I feel comfortable making friends first and then ending the friendship if anybody does something bad. If somebody else is not so comfortable doing that, I respect that. We're not all the same and we don't have the same approach to the Internet. But you have to be willing to treat everybody the same. It's not right if they can't accept a friendly request from an unknown man but they can from an unknown woman or couple. What's a man gonna do that a woman or couple can't anyway? Whatever fears exist with blindly trusting men also exist with blindly trusting women. I understand your point about leading by example. It's what all of us should be doing. Just behave respectably and be treated accordingly. I do like your approach and I think it works with some people too. The only thing I am concerned about is reinforcing a system of fear. If we approach people and say "hi. i'm a nice guy. you can trust me." Will this reinforce the idea that men have to prove their innocence? I'm not sure if it does, I'm wondering about it. Finally, this is beyong the image of single men. What attracts people to nudism is liberty,mostpeople anyway. But if this environment of liberty is ruled by fear, is it worth it? We all have fears and I'm not undermining the value of those fears. But they cannot rule the community. Anyway, I'm really happy to see the support I've been getting. For those who didn't fully agree with me, I appreciate most of you for approaching me politely and listening to me. I just hope I've been able to create an understanding of what's being felt on the opposite side of the nudist world, the 'unsafe' side. Thanks to everybody.
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CO
Curt, or Cowboy
Dec 9, 2009
[quote][quote]Tell me where you can find a single girl who is into nudism in a nudist park. SIngle women in nudist camps dont exist.[/quote] Yes, they do. They are also at nonlanded clubs. Travelites has a few as do some of the clubs, landed and non-landed that we visit. Hugs & happy holidays, Cheri[/quote] Wrote briefly about one in my Christmas Party blog entry on my profile. Not the majority by any means, but they do seem to be everywhere, to me anyway.
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TH
Thomas
Dec 9, 2009
[quote]I have read most of the posts on this topic and though i am new to nudism and have not been to any public places, i can agree from research and responses i have had by women and couples on this site. It's basically a "Peter pays for Paul, and Paul pays for all" situation. From history and general interaction, women and some couples have been harrassed by single men , of a certain age group, and from that we all get put into that category. There are many women who are aggressive, but go unchecked which is unfair. From quick research i did notice that men were either not allowed at some resorts or were charged more than some other groups. In an enclosed environment, i can see the need for a level of equality. But there must be some wiggle room for a few extra of either sex (just good business sense and a good gesture). Even on this site, a lot of women and couples victimize single men. Several state they are lesbians, Bisexual and Bicurious and do not want contact from single men. Hopefully this is based on personal experience and not on propaganda and tales from other bitter people. I have several lesbian, bisexual, gay and bicurious friends and none of us discriminate against each other. I personally have had a few conversations with as many as 5 women (of various sexual orientations) and i have not once said or done anything offensive. Isn't that strange..i thought single men were all pervs. Basically i believe that each person should be given a chance to prove what sort of person he is and if he does not belong or causes trouble, then be asked to desist or leave.[/quote] Very good post. I have met a lot of people on here that have said no single males but have added me as a friend. I got to know them in the forum, chat, or email. It is unfortunate that we are discriminated against but can see why some do. I can understand why some resorts limit single men, but I found one resort which claims to only allow couples that has hidden in small print that they allow single females. That would make me decide never to go there if I were ever have an opportunity to go with a partner. A lot has been said about balance being needed to keep single women coming. The clothing optional beach I go to has a large imbalance of single males. Even though there are a lot more single men there, there are a fair number of single women and couples that go there. To me that shows that gender balance is not necessary.
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TH
Thomas
Dec 9, 2009
[quote][quote]Jen… notty notty… This is the mens room. Kidding. thanks for your much needed point of view. Bman.[/quote] Oops! Sorry guys...Knock, knock!Jen[/quote] LOL Jen, not a problem, just like when I accidently went to ladies room.
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TH
Thomas
Dec 9, 2009
[quote][quote]Tell me where you can find a single girl who is into nudism in a nudist park. SIngle women in nudist camps dont exist.[/quote] Yes, they do. They are also at nonlanded clubs. Travelites has a few as do some of the clubs, landed and non-landed that we visit. Hugs & happy holidays, Cheri[/quote] They also exist at nude beaches. I have met several at Hippie Hollow. One had never been nude in public, but after getting to know some of us in chat, met us there and loved it.
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 10, 2009
[quote][quote] p.s. To answer your RabbitnBunny question, If you look at their friends list or the friends list of just about anyone on here that have the "no males" restrictions, you'll see that just about all of them have single males on their friends list. Could it be that those single males are the ones that have a profile picture, a filled out profile, certified and took the time to get to know them before requesting friends? Could be.[/quote] We have single male friends. What they all have in common, is that we got to know them in chat, or they took time to exchange messages with us and over the course of time, we got to know them. And Jen is right, a filled out profile is the first thing we look at, and if the pics are decent, and not erection pics.[/quote] If you're willing to make friends with single males, you have a really funny way of showing it (that's everybody with the no single males profile.) RabbitnBunny, your profile says in exact quote "SINGLE MALES: Please, we're not looking for single male friends. Single males include married males who are on here without their significant other. " How exactly is a single man, such as myself, supposed to send you a message after reading this. It is very precise, we are not looking for single males. This isn't rocket science. Whoever is reading this and is afraid or uncomfortable with shady friend request or even being overwhelmed with requests, here's what you can write. I/We will not accept any friend request from anybody who... 1) Has an unfilled profile 2) Has no pictures 3) Has never communicated with me/us 4) Did not send me/us a message You can choose any or all of these options. You can even say, Do not send me a friend request before talking to me. I've actually seen that message in other online networks. Not only is it not sexist, but it is a much better way to make your point. It shows everybody that you care aboutwhothe person is notwhat. Isn't it better than coming to this forum to explain yourself?
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ME
Member
Dec 10, 2009
[quote]Garden, you are lacking MONTHS of negative experiences my wife and I have endured. You've read what many have had to say on here, but you don't want to accept it. That's fine, and no skin off my nose. Do or don't do. You don't have any kind of profile pic. You might have your reasons. We, as a couple, can chose not to accept those reason to become a friend. You can debate or ague all you want if that's what you enjoy. I'm not a debater. Hard data of actual experience (what we have) overrides theory (what you are posting).[/quote] well said!
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 10, 2009
RabbitnBunny, did you read my response at all? I did not, at any point, suggest that you must accept friend requests from everybody who sends them to you. I did NOT ever suggest that you have to give a mysterious person the benefit of the doubt and to give no regard to your negative experience. And I know that my profile is not assuring enough for you to accept my friend request, which I never sent in the first place, I was speaking hypothetically.
My point was, which I will clarify, that you said that you will make friends with single males once you get to know them. Your profile statement gives a very different impression. When a single male (who doesn't know you) reads it, he gets the impression that you will not want to befriend with him and might think that you won't even talk to him in chat. It may sound crazy, but there's nothing in your profile statement to clarify what your intention is, it gives the worst possible message.
Furthermore, I have never denied the negative experiences that anybody has faced. I should just say it out loud...I'm SORRY that you had to experience problems with a large number of people, who are single males, who did not treat you respectfully. I am NOT approaching this problem by telling all the women and couples to stop all their defenses and let everybody do as they please.
But if you read a previous post I wrote, it clearly states that there are two problems. One is bad image (single males) and the other is harrassment and disrespect (females/couples). I'm just trying to tell everybody, not just you, that you can make a clear warning sign to any offensive person in a way that does not bring a bad image to all single men. The suggestion that I posted last time does not compromise your message. If anything, it enhances it because it tells any woman or couple with a bad intention (and they do exist) that they will not be blindly trusted.
My last post was extremely simple. I am restating your message to the members of this site but in a gender-neutral fashion. I fail to see how that is not understanding or unaccepting of the problems you faced. All I'm saying is to change your message, I'm not asking you to loosen your requirements for friendship. I'm not insensitive. You are the victims of bad behaviour, I UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT that. But even victims can do wrong, often out of fear.
I hope I'm being understood here. Please read what I'm saying. I read everybody's points word for word. Don't me look like some insensitive jerk that doesn't care about other people's problems.
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 10, 2009
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 10, 2009
"I have not nor will I accept ANY friend request from either single males, females or couples unless they have had a modicum of interaction with me and my husband."
Thank you jackieinoz. This is the point I'm trying to make. When you use this approach, you limit the harrassment of bad people as much as possible without putting in your mind that single males are the ones who can't be trusted. If everybody uses this approach, both problems are solved.
(I know some people will continue to send friend requests regardless of messages or conduct of the recipient. I also know most of these people will be single males, but that should not speak badly about all single males. As it's been established, they are the majority of the members on this site, so it's only natural that they will be the majority of the bad members).
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gardenofeden212
Dec 10, 2009
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GA
gardenofeden212
Dec 10, 2009
[quote]Gardeno eden I just looke at you profile will have to agree with those that have comment on your lack of experience. I am not talking about as a nudist (I have less than 6 months) but it is life experience that you only gain with age. You are fallinf into the same trap as the people you are trying to get to change their minds. You are labeling them and filing the into generalized groups. By doing this it you against them making the "deck stacked against you". It is a social problem, which will take generations to change. In some ways you cause me to look back to when I joined the Army. I really thought I was going to get them to see and do things my way. I wound up in a lot of trouble and lost my fist promotion in less than a week. When I was transfered to a new base I decided I need to learn the system and use it[/quote][quote] to my advantage rather than try to change what was immovable. So learn to work from within. Ed[/quote] Ed, please tell me how it is that I'm generalizing the others into groups. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know about it. I understand that this is not against me personally, but I happen to be one of the people who is on the receiving end. I don't see this as me trying to force people to do things my way. I see it as the fair way which is a general principle that is supposed to be accepted in a society...treat all people equally, let conduct be the judge... I understand your point about working from within, but to me it seems very deceptive...I'm not saying dishonest, but misleading. I feel that if there is opposition, it has to be expressed. To work within a system that one disagrees with is almost affirming that the system is correct. That's the way I see it.
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