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Replies
- CO
Curt, or CowboyDec 11, 2009[quote]My point was, which I will clarify, that you said that you will make friends with single males once you get to know them. Your profile statement gives a very different impression. When a single male (who doesn't know you) reads it, he gets the impression that you will not want to befriend with him and might think that you won't even talk to him in chat.[/quote] I'm not so sure that's necessarily a bad thing, ESPECIALLY since they've said otherwise in the very public forums ! ( and probably in chat as well, but I don't do chat so can't know ) It automagically filters out anyone who won't even bother with the forums, or other postings, and those who do bother already know what the message *really* means. Mission accomplished, and without dealing with those who wouldn't understand anyway. Seems a good ( if intricate ) plan to me ! It's meaningless to YOU in fact, as they've gotten to know a bit more about you from your missives here. Doesn't mean you'd be accepted, but it does suggest that you've already bypassed that one bit, doesn't it ? Sometimes, things aren't always as they appear at first blush, but close enough for the intended audience.ReactReply - MEMemberDec 11, 2009
Still on that subject?
I think what’s going here is a discussion for the sake of discussion Catbird.
I gave up on that wind mill days ago.
Signed:Don QuixoteReactReply - GAgardenofeden212Dec 11, 2009
As I understand it Curt, it all comes down to the following...
1) The messages appear to be against single males but the underlying purpose is to deter anybody who appears untrustworthy.
2) Most of the bad or untrustworthy requests are coming from single males. The reason for this is not necessarily because single males are more likely to cause problems, but because there's so much more of them than women or couples.
3) Testimony from the Whispering Pines articles and from some members, including yourself, acknowledges that women also cause problems. So there is no reason to believe that a woman or couple will never come collecting friends with a bad intention.
If the real purpose is to prevent being overwhelmed by unwanted contact, then doesn't the suggestion I made in post #112 carry out that message. It is less confusing than 'no single males' and it pays more attention to conduct than gender.
The practical results of "No Single Males" is that a man will not send a request without getting to know them first, but a woman or couple with a bad intention will. The suggestion from post #112 tells every member of this site to get to know the person first and that failing to do so will result in a denied friend request.
Rather than coming in here and saying 'the hell with all of you, you're wrong' I'm being constructive here. I'm thinking of ways to address both concerns. Post #112 does not compromise the defensive purpose or message and in some ways, it enhances it. As I said before, this does not need to be a win-lose situation.ReactReply - COCurt, or CowboyDec 11, 2009[quote]As I understand it Curt, it all comes down to the following... 1) The messages appear to be against single males but the underlying purpose is to deter anybody who appears untrustworthy. [/quote] There's only one part you overlook, but you haven't been here long enough yet. When these poor souls are inundated with requests from so many purporting to be single males, hundreds per day, the work figuring out which is the needle and which are merely the haystack can be overwhelming. When being attacked by a mob, one doesn't try to figure out which individual might be OK. One slams the door, and sort it out later. My quarel is not with those who would request "no single males" but with those who make the tag necessary ! Those morons have not only created a bad rap for themselves, but for me as well, which I do not deserve. THAT is what *I* object to ! Though I don't know, it's probably the same reason for "private" profiles available ONLY to already approved friends.ReactReply
- MEMemberDec 11, 2009[quote]treat all people equally, let conduct be the judge...Says it all really doesnt it :)[/quote] haha… had a long “comeback” explaining why not possible but then I found out I am making your point… Ok. I give . lets hold hands everybody…
ReactReply - TH
ThomasDec 11, 2009[quote]The major problem with very clear points being made in chat and in the forum is that there is no record whatever of chat conversations and few go there anyway, and there are 17,836 posts (as of this moment) in the forum and no search function to look through them, even if one had a useful search term. Newcomers to TN obviously have not read through every post looking for the possibility of an escape clause in the "If you're a single male, piss off!" dictates. I have no quarrel whatsoever with any member stating in their profile, "No single males!" To each his own. I refuse to accept friends not born on Earth. GOE212's point is that if a member makes exceptions to a blanket "No single males!" statement in a profile, the exception should also be in the profile rather than requiring poring through almost 18,000 posts to find it. That's simple logic. If I see that in a profile, as a single male I have no further interest in that person, no matter what else the profile says. That, I submit, is the reaction of the vast majority of single men (the clue-challenged jerks are another matter entirely). Whether the person will indeed make room for them is unknown to them, and they have no cause to search for the loopholes.[/quote] There are some very valid points here. I have friends who state no single males in their profile and I understand the reason it is there. I do feel that it would be a lot simpler to post the things mentioned in earlier post about getting to know someone first would be better than blanket no single males. I got to know them in chat and forums and they sent me a friend request. I have others who accepted my friend request because I sent them an email introducing my self and telling them why I wanted to be their friend. The key was that I read their profile and showed why I was interested. It probably didn't hurt that I am certified long time member and I have a lot of pics on my profile thar aimply show activites I enjoy while nude.ReactReply - BI
bigboy2130000Dec 11, 2009i couldnt have said it better my self ,thx.
ReactReply - THThomasDec 11, 2009Thank you for your kind words Jackie, and it has been a pleasure getting to know you. I am looking forward to dancing with you. LOL I have always felt that you should treat someone as you want to be treated. It doesn't matter if you are in person or on the internet. If some of the rude people could get a cyber punch in the nose for their behavior, they might behave better.
ThomasReactReply - MEMemberDec 11, 2009[quote][quote][quote]Let's do it the nudist way... [/quote] All single men. Where are the women????[/quote] Behind the camera of course LOL![/quote] See? That’s what happen when you hang out all the time IN TH MENS ROOM!ReactReply
- MEMemberDec 11, 2009LOL! Nicky, there are two of them swimming in the water, afraid to get out because of all those "evil" single males amassed at the shore line! Mwahahahahaha! Jen
(Giving you a wink, just 'cause I know how much you love the little smiley faces)ReactReply - CA
catbirdDec 11, 2009[quote][quote]LOL! Nicky, there are two of them swimming in the water, afraid to get out because of all those "evil" single males amassed at the shore line![/quote] Lordy, Lordy....If I had that bunch standing on the shore whilst I was in the water...I would be out of that water and hitting the shore so fast you would think that JAWS was a snapping at my beeeeeehind!!!!!!
[/quote]
This shows that the men are not so evil.ReactReply - MEMemberDec 11, 2009[quote][quote] If some of the rude people could get a cyber punch in the nose for their behavior, they might behave better.[/quote]
[/quote]
Jeje…
good one...ReactReply - GAgardenofeden212Dec 11, 2009[quote][quote]As I understand it Curt, it all comes down to the following... 1) The messages appear to be against single males but the underlying purpose is to deter anybody who appears untrustworthy. [/quote] There's only one part you overlook, but you haven't been here long enough yet. When these poor souls are inundated with requests from so many purporting to be single males, hundreds per day, the work figuring out which is the needle and which are merely the haystack can be overwhelming. When being attacked by a mob, one doesn't try to figure out which individual might be OK. One slams the door, and sort it out later. My quarel is not with those who would request "no single males" but with those who make the tag necessary ! Those morons have not only created a bad rap for themselves, but for me as well, which I do not deserve. THAT is what *I* object to ! Though I don't know, it's probably the same reason for "private" profiles available ONLY to already approved friends.[/quote] The reason I will not address your points is because I have already done that. Post #112 clearly discusses the problem of receiving too many requests from strangers. Post #118 clearly states that I do not expect people to put down their guard and just face the hundreds of requests. Post #125 refers back to 112 and repeats the point that anybody can send out their underlying message without pointing a finger at only one gender. So not only did I not overlook this point, but I talked about it repeatedly. Please read my posts thoroughly. Don't just read the beginning and argue against it. I'm gonna divide the single men into different categories. 1) There's one group of single men who have been here for a long time and have made themselves known, so there are no problems there. 2) There's a large group of single men who send out friend requests without getting to know the person first. Before condemning them, keep in mind that not all of them have a bad reason. For example, when I first joined, I did the same thing. I sent out friend requests and then began talking to those who accepted it. This was never an issue in other networks. But I can see now that way too many people here are not comfortable with that, so I realize that I should change that approach. Let me emphasize that I KNOW that the recipient of these requests cannot sort out what their intention was, I'm just saying that I do not condemn them for giving us a bad image, because we don't know why they did it. For those who are reading and thinking, "That doesn't matter, we have to close the flood gates, we can't get inundated with requests" JUST CONTINUE READING, I WILL GET TO THAT POINT, even though I did before. 3) Finally, there's that group of guys who have made themselves known, but in a negative way. I don't what they did, but I can tell that they either said or did something bad to some of the women or couples on here. These guys do deserve to be condemned. And more importantly, they should be held accountable for whatever they did. But there is no excuse to hold all single males accountable for their actions. Everybody here, man, woman, couple, has to be held accountable for their own actions. That means both the perpetratorsandvictims of harrassment must be accountable for their own actions. Those guys are guilty of harrassment, disrespect, or whatever it was that they did. But they did not make the No Single Males statement necessary. Why? Because there is another alternative. I will not repeat it again, just refer back to #112 or #125. It is completely unacceptable for a man to come here and harrass the women or couples. But it is also completely unacceptable to put all men into one category. I agree that we need to be compassionate with those who are overwhelmed with friend requestsandwith those who suffered a bad experience. But compassion is not a blank check. Just because somebody is a victim does not mean that they can approach their problem however they want. Using discrimination to prevent harrassment is NOT a solution. It's only creating a new problem. Harrassment is one wrong. Discrimination is another. Just because there'sc a reason for it does not mean it's right. I am not trying to quarrel with those who put up the No Single Males. I'm trying to appeal to them that there is a better way to do it. Nobody made No Single Males necessary, it was a decision that was made by some women and couples. Just read the posts that I have referred to above. I know that my suggestion in those posts is not a hypothesis, there are people who actually do it. If you'd rather here from somebody with more experience, read Jackieinoz's posts #116 and #134. This is the testimony of a woman who did have bad experiences and DID NOT find it necessary to point strictly at single males.ReactReply
- GAgardenofeden212Dec 11, 2009Hi Ed. Jackie got that quote from GOE. It is in Post #122. Thank you, I think it is a great quote. It came straight from the heart. I said in my post because it's what I believe in. If you read Post #122, you will see that I was responding to your quote and I was engaging you in a polite discussion, not an argument, because you were polite to me...until now. I have repeatedly mentioned a compromise that works for everybody, which to me sounds constructive. Other people are continuing to explain what their situation isafterI have offered a solution that can work for all, males, females, and couples...but apparently I'm the one who is arguing for the sake of arguing.ReactReply
- COCurt, or CowboyDec 12, 2009
This thread started having almost nothing to do with this site.
Having more to do with resorts, and the "discrimination" that takes place there, and why that might be.
Apparently, there are resorts that blindly discriminate against single males.
I've heard that the resorts that I've freely visited do such, but I haven't seen it
It's apparently an attempt ( misguided though it may be ) to maintain some kind of gender balance.
From what I see, this site is about 15:1 male/female, while the resorts I've been to are closer to 2:1.
Either way, nudism is a rather obviously male dominated "activity."
Methinks we can all agree that blatant discrimination, prejudice, is wrong.
The way I see it, there are but two things we CAN do about it.
1. Accept that it does exist, for whatever reason.
2. Show up, and prove them WRONG by our actions.ReactReply - GAgardenofeden212Dec 12, 2009
Curt, I think we are mostly in agreement. I also agree with you that as single males, there is little more that we can do. The only other option left is to talk to the people who do it, which hopefully this thread can accomplish...explain to the ones that do the discrimination why it is wrong. But there is something that other people can do. They can accept that there is a better way to accomplish their goals, because as you and I and many others who posted here are in agreement, this is wrong. I do agree that when any group of people is discriminated against, they should do something about it, not just sit around and hope that it will stop. But that does not absolve the people who do the discrimination from any responsibility.
Thanks for posting NudeInMaReactReply - CAcatbirdDec 12, 2009
As I said way back in post #15, I have found that resorts accept me, if I show them my AANR card. In addition, some other posters have mentioned that our behavior should be how we are judged. You can still have fun by watching your actions.
ReactReply - MEMemberFeb 2, 2010
It is not just the single males that are discriminated against, but also the males over 35. Once they see that age younger people immediately say oh no, he is a perv or devient or troll.... Get real people. We were nudists before you even knew what it meant. And then we wonder why the world is in the shape it is in.
ReactReply - GE
Gerry-4Feb 3, 2010[quote]It is not just the single males that are discriminated against, but also the males over 35. Once they see that age younger people immediately say oh no, he is a perv or devient or troll.... Get real people. We were nudists before you even knew what it meant. And then we wonder why the world is in the shape it is in.[/quote] Hey, if enough single males and single females can't find each other, the problem may solve itself: no more nudist children! All of us old pharts will wither away, and so will the movement...ReactReply