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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 19, 2013My ex asked what part of her I liked looking at best, her breasts or her butt?
She wasn't happy when I said, "The top of your head."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 21, 2013Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 22, 2013I just read a frightening statistic. 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. WOW! That means 75% are running around untreated.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 23, 2013My ex told me to go out and get some of those pills that will help me get an erection. She was very unhappy when I tossed her some diet pills!ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 25, 2013A woman is like fine wine, I love 19 year old wine.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 26, 2013I remember thinking, "You better not do this, but I know about 8 people who I'm gonna tell."ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 27, 2013Did you ever have a day, that's filled with the memories of "The One That Got Away" ?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 28, 2013Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 1, 2013I fell in love with my ex at first sight. I should have looked twice.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 3, 2013My ex was really being a bitch so, I took her favorite jeans to the tailor and had the waist taken in by one inch. She was jogging for hours every day for a week.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 7, 2013I won an argument with my ex....In this dream I had...ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 12, 2013What the hell is this about a new kind of poop?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 18, 2013My ex joined "Adopt-A-Pet" at the L.A. Zoo.
She adopted azebra and named it "Spot".ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowMar 18, 2013A cop pulls a blonde over for jumping a red light at a pedestrian crossing.
"Did you not see the pedestrian crossing" the cop asks her.
"No" said the blonde "was it a man or a woman"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 18, 20139 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors isan idiot.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 19, 2013One time my ex suggested we make a movie reenacting our wedding night. I guess I shouldn't have suggested we holdauditions for her part.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMar 19, 2013My wife complained that I don't take her out enough. What's the point, she keeps coming back.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 19, 2013I convinced my wife she should run five miles a day. That last I heard she was passing through Cleveland.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 20, 2013My ex complained when I left the toilet seat up. Then she complained when I put the seat and the lid down.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 23, 2013Right after my ex broke up with me she sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. I sent them to her dad.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 24, 2013My ex claimed I was the most responsible personin our relationship.
Whenever anything went wrong, I was responsible.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMar 24, 2013My wife says we should spend more time together. My girlfriend doesn't agree.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 25, 2013I'm thinking of suing my in-laws - my ex should've come with a warning label!ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 26, 2013My ex and I had so much in common. She wanted totravel... and I wanted her to go and travel.ReactReply