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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- MA
ManOfWicklowMar 26, 2013Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil
in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 26, 2013One night I went out and got really wasted. I woke up in themiddle of the night next to some chick that was snoring and farting, so I knewI made it home OK!ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 27, 2013Drinking alone at a table one night, a beautiful cocktail waitress asked why I was so sad. I explained I had just broken up with my longtime girlfriend. We talked when she wasn't busy. At closing time we went to her apartment. In the morning as I was leaving she said, "So, you're good looking, a nice guy and good in bed. Can I ask why on earth did you split with your girlfriend?" --- "My wife found out about her!"ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMar 27, 2013Q. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?
A. Made her chain too long.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 27, 2013My ex wanted a new watch. I told her there was a clock on the microwave.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMar 27, 2013My wife is so dumb she thinks a microwave is a small hairstyle.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 27, 2013My wife asked how the deer know to cross at thedeer crossing signs.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 28, 2013I don't do Spring Cleaning because I love all the seasons equallyand don't want the others to get jealousReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 28, 2013Q: What's the difference between love, true love, andshowing off?
A: Spit, swallow, and gargle,ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 31, 2013I don't disturb cobwebs because I want every creature tohave a home of their own.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMar 31, 2013Q: Whats the difference between a ginger and a brick? A: At least a brick gets laid.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 1, 2013There's a huge brouhaha in Britain over thesurreptitious use of horse meat to supplement beef sales.
It has, however,allowed the customer more options.
You can not only order your burger to go,
but also to "Win", "Place", or "Show".ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2013I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowApr 5, 2013[quote]I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors.[/quote]Most of them should be wearing a straight jacket.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 5, 2013Life is like a penis. Soft and hanging freely.
It's women that make it hardReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 5, 2013Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 5, 2013I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having sex, like; "I'm tired, I'm washing my hair, I've got a headache, I'm your sister....ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowApr 5, 2013What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 5, 2013Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 6, 2013Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 6, 2013Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 6, 2013I received a 4:00 am phone call. A man yelling because he found my phone number in his wifes pocket. I told him if he was having trouble with his marriage he should talk it over with his wife, so I handed her the phone.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowApr 6, 2013Blessed are the poor. The more things you can afford, the more things you have to dust.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 7, 2013The speed with which a woman says "nothing,"when asked, "What's wrong?" is inversely proportional to theseverity of the shitstorm that's about to follow.ReactReply