Random thoughts and jokes — Humor and Fun on True Nudists

Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

Jun 6, 2012

One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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ManOfWicklow
Dec 30, 2014
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Dec 30, 2014
Guinea pigs get lonely so often that in Switzerland it is illegal to own just one.

Guinea pigs get lonely, so it is highly recommended by experts for people to own the pets in pairs. In fact, in Switzerland, it is actually illegal to own a single guinea pig. Since guinea pigs are by nature very social animals, they often become withdrawn when on their own due to not having other guinea pigs around to communicate, play, and groom together as they would in the wild. Two baby guinea pigs of the same gender typically have the highest likelihood for successful cohabitation, followed by a baby guinea pig and older guinea pig of the same gender. Guinea pigs may have distinctive personality traits that can clash if two older animals are introduced.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Dec 31, 2014
On average, the number of cars stolen on New Year's Day is more than double those stolen on Christmas.

In the US, over 22,000 cars were stolen over the fall and winter holidays, according to 2009 National Crime Information Center (NCIC) statistics. New Year's Day had the most thefts with 2,760 cars stolen in 2009. Christmas Day had the least number of thefts with 1,336 cars stolen that year.To keep vehicles from being stolen, it is recommended that owners keep items like shopping bags out of sight, and not leave a running car unattended.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 1, 2015
On a scale of one to ten, what's your favorite color of the alphabet?
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 3, 2015
Moby Dick is based on Mocha Dick, a real albino whale that destroyed over 20 whaling ships in the 1830s.

The inspiration for Herman Melville's 1851 novel Moby Dick was based on a real albino sperm whale called Mocha Dick. During the growth of the whaling industry in the Americas in the mid 1800s, Mocha Dick gained a reputation of being a one of the most feared whales in the ocean. Mocha Dick was reported to be docile if left alone, even swimming along with ships. However, when provoked, the 70 foot (21.336 m) whale would become aggressive and attack ships with his body. During the 28 years that Mocha Dick hunted, he reportedly attacked 100 ships, 20 of which were completely destroyed. Mocha was eventually killed by whalers in 1838 near the Chilean island Mocha after he came to the rescue of a female whale whose calf was killed by the whalers.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 4, 2015
The Stanley Cup has not always been so large as the trophy that recognizes the winners of each years National Hockey League (NHL) Championship.
It is around 3 foot (0.91 m) tall and weighs approximately 31 pounds (14.06 kg), but the first Stanley Cup that was used until 1962 was just 7-1/2 by 11-1/2 inches (19 by 29 cm). In 1893, hockey fan and Canadian noble Lord Stanley, the Earl of Preston and Governor-General of Canada, donated the silver cup to be used each year as an award for the winning hockey championship team and it began being used by the NHL after 1925. The teams players, coaches, and other staffs names are all engraved onto the trophy. Unlike most sports trophies, the actual Stanley Cup is given to the winning team to keep for the year rather than making a replica every year.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 4, 2015
Only 8% of people who make a New Year's Resolution end up achieving it.

Only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year's resolutions, according to 2014 Journal of Clinical Psychology statistics. About 45% of Americans make any resolutions at all. The most common New Year's resolution is to lose weight, followed by being more organized, being careful with money, enjoying life, and stopping smoking. Self-improvement and education resolutions rank the highest at 47% while relationship-related resolutions rank the lowest at 31%. Being able to work towards a resolution can be the most difficult as only 75% of those who made any resolution maintained it through the first week. The percentage lowers overtime: 71% maintained their resolution through two weeks, and 46% maintained their resolution through 6 months. For those looking to meet their New Year's resolutions, it is recommended that people announce their goals, have an accountability system, or set future dates when smaller goals will be achieved that will aid in the success of the resolution.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 8, 2015
Green Eggs and Ham was written by Dr. Seuss using only 50 different words to win a bet with his publisher.
Only 50 words are used in Dr. Seuss' Green Eggs and Ham. The use of only 50
words was due to a bet that Bennett Cert, Dr. Seuss' editor and co-founder
of Random House, made in 1960 with the author that Dr. Seuss couldn't write
a book using 50 words or less. The bet was for $50 (the equivalent of $382
as of 2011). Dr. Seuss succeeded, and Green Eggs and Ham became one of his
best-selling books. In a poll done by the School Library Journal in 2012,
Green Eggs and Ham placed as one of the "Top 100 Picture Books".
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 8, 2015
Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite.
Have you ever seen a man get on a bus or an escalator ahead of one?
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 10, 2015

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. This one caught me by surprise.
I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.
They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy tops.
It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'no' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.
You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, one of them climbs over into the front seat and gives you a head job,
while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen January 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th.
Also February 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, three times last Monday
and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful.
P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for 2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K-Mart and bought them out.
Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Home Depot.
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 11, 2015
I walked into McDonalds today and was behind a rather large woman in the queue.

As the assistant came to the counter I shouted, "I'll have what ever she's having."

"But you don't even know what I'm going to order!" she chuckled.

"I know," I replied, "but I've got five hungry lads waiting in the car."
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 11, 2015
Thank God I have never seen
A cat stripped naked and clean
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 24, 2015
A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one.
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 24, 2015
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 24, 2015
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

~Albert Einstein (1879-1955)
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 24, 2015
The longest Main Street in America is US Route 20 in Island Park, Idaho, which is 33 miles (53 k) long. The city consist mainly of resorts and lodges along Route 20 whose owners decided to incorporate in 1947 in order to get around Idaho's liquor laws that do not allow liquor to be sold outside city limits.
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 24, 2015
Cock Lane, near Holborn Viaduct, didnâ€™t get its name due to any association with poultry, but because it was the only street to be licensed for prostitution in medieval times.Unusual street names in London include Ha Ha Road in Greenwich, Hookerâ€™s Road in Walthamstow.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 24, 2015
Ducks quack in varying accents based on the region they are from.
Ducks have accents based on their location, according to research conducted by Middlesex University in London. They found that ducks quacks varied depending on the particular region of England they lived in, similarly to the humans regional accents. For example, ducks in the busy city of London were more likely to have a louder, more abrasive quack that is thought to be comparable to the Cockney accent of East Londoners. In comparison, ducks in the rural peninsula of Cornwall were found to have a quieter, calmer tone to their quacks. The difference in duck accents is thought to perhaps be the result of environment, as city ducks must be louder to be heard over traffic and street noise than rural ducks.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 25, 2015
The first coffee bushes were brought to Hawaii by Don Francisco de Paula Marin, a Spanish sailor who later became an interpreter in Hawaii. Marin was also responsible for producing Hawaii's first cotton and pineapple harvests, as well as its first wine.
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Lakeman221
Jan 25, 2015
[quote]
A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers. This one caught me by surprise.
I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.
They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy tops.
It is impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'no' and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.
You agree and they get into the back seat. On the way, one of them climbs over into the front seat and gives you a head job,
while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen January 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th & 29th.
Also February 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, three times last Monday
and very likely again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful.
P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for 2.99 each. I found cheaper ones for $1.99 at K-Mart and bought them out.
Also, you never will get to eat at McDonalds. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth to Home Depot.
[/quote]I shop at Home Depot quit regularly, but have not had this happen to me. But then when I go, I am in my pick-up truck. I may have to start going in the car from now on. How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 25, 2015
[quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 25, 2015
[quote][quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.[/quote]Toyota Corolla exterior measurement is over 15 feet. An 8 foot 2x4 will fit. Just not in the trunk.
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 26, 2015
In North Carolina, it is against the law for a rabbit to race down the street.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 27, 2015
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
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