Random thoughts and jokes — Humor and Fun on True Nudists

Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

Jun 6, 2012

One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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ManOfWicklow
Jan 27, 2015
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 27, 2015
The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.
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Lakeman221
Jan 27, 2015
[quote][quote][quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.[/quote]Toyota Corolla exterior measurement is over 15 feet. An 8 foot 2x4 will fit. Just not in the trunk.
[/quote]Yes but, the way I read how the scam works is, "while packing your shopping IN THE TRUNK". I know I could probably tie some down to the roof, but I want to be packing them in the trunk, so these young ladies will come try the scam. Otherwise it might not work right.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 27, 2015
[quote][quote][quote][quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.[/quote]Toyota Corolla exterior measurement is over 15 feet. An 8 foot 2x4 will fit. Just not in the trunk.
[/quote]Yes but, the way I read how the scam works is, "while packing your shopping IN THE TRUNK". I know I could probably tie some down to the roof, but I want to be packing them in the trunk, so these young ladies will come try the scam. Otherwise it might not work right.
[/quote]Damn, your right. I hadn't thought of it that way.
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MA
ManOfWicklow
Jan 27, 2015
[quote][quote][quote][quote][quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.[/quote]Toyota Corolla exterior measurement is over 15 feet. An 8 foot 2x4 will fit. Just not in the trunk.
[/quote]Yes but, the way I read how the scam works is, "while packing your shopping IN THE TRUNK". I know I could probably tie some down to the roof, but I want to be packing them in the trunk, so these young ladies will come try the scam. Otherwise it might not work right.
[/quote]Damn, your right. I hadn't thought of it that way.
[/quote]It helps to have a big enough trunk to put the ladies in it as well.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 28, 2015
[quote][quote][quote][quote][quote][quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.[/quote]Toyota Corolla exterior measurement is over 15 feet. An 8 foot 2x4 will fit. Just not in the trunk.
[/quote]Yes but, the way I read how the scam works is, "while packing your shopping IN THE TRUNK". I know I could probably tie some down to the roof, but I want to be packing them in the trunk, so these young ladies will come try the scam. Otherwise it might not work right.
[/quote]Damn, your right. I hadn't thought of it that way.
[/quote]It helps to have a big enough trunk to put the ladies in it as well.[/quote]NO! That makes you the law breaker.
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Lakeman221
Jan 30, 2015
[quote][quote][quote][quote][quote] How do I get full length 8 foot 2x4's into the trunk of a Toyota Corolla?[/quote]That's 2.4 mt's, and should fit inside the passenger compartment without too much of a problem.[/quote]Toyota Corolla exterior measurement is over 15 feet. An 8 foot 2x4 will fit. Just not in the trunk.
[/quote]Yes but, the way I read how the scam works is, "while packing your shopping IN THE TRUNK". I know I could probably tie some down to the roof, but I want to be packing them in the trunk, so these young ladies will come try the scam. Otherwise it might not work right.
[/quote]Damn, your right. I hadn't thought of it that way.
[/quote]Yeah, you see I have two pick-up trucks and that is what I drive to the Home Depot to get building supplies, since the cargo bed is better for hauling stuff than the trunk of a car. Maybe that's why I haven't been approached by these individuals yet. Both of my trucks have back seats, so that's not the problem. Maybe they are just prejudiced against people with pick-up trucks.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 30, 2015
I don't like making plans for the day...because then the word "premeditated" gets tossed around in the courtroom.
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 30, 2015
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 30, 2015
You know you're in trouble when the judge tells your jury,
"The jury is to convene to the guilty room."
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ManOfWicklow
Jan 31, 2015
You know you're in trouble when your pacemaker has only a thirty day guarantee.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 31, 2015
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
~Terry Pratchett

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NudeJohnny
Feb 1, 2015
"George Washington had fifty-five children with slaves, so he
was also the illegitimate father of the country. We should take
him off the dollar and put him on food stamps."
---The Mooney Twins

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Lakeman221
Feb 1, 2015
[quote]"George Washington had fifty-five children with slaves, so he
was also the illegitimate father of the country. We should take
him off the dollar and put him on food stamps."
---The Mooney Twins

[/quote]There's TOO many people on food stamps now as it is. Probably some of them are George's far removed offspring.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 1, 2015
[quote][quote]"George Washington had fifty-five children with slaves, so he
was also the illegitimate father of the country. We should take
him off the dollar and put him on food stamps."
---The Mooney Twins

[/quote]There's TOO many people on food stamps now as it is. Probably some of them are George's far removed offspring.
[/quote]The Mooney Twins meant put his PICTURE on the food stamps instead of the one dollar bill.
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ManOfWicklow
Feb 4, 2015
It's only when the tide comes in,you realise you shouldn't have fallen asleep on the beach with your clothes on.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 4, 2015
I have a doctor's appointment on Monday; I'm not even sick â€“ it's just that I've been working out, and I want someone to see me naked.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 6, 2015
My uncle got a vasectomy, and paid for it with Mastercard. He forgot to pay the bill, and the finance company came over to his house and knocked up my aunt.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 19, 2015
Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay. You have my Word.
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DesertRat
Feb 21, 2015
[quote]"George Washington had fifty-five children with slaves, so he
was also the illegitimate father of the country. We should take
him off the dollar and put him on food stamps."
---The Mooney Twins

[/quote]I found this to be quite interesting so I did additional research on the subject. So far I have been unable to verify this figure of 55 children sired by George Washington with slaves. Can you provide any research data on this subject? I would be most appreciative in having it. Thank you. DesertRat.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 21, 2015
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a tornpair of pants.
"Euripides?" Asks the tailor.
"Yeah, Eumenides?" Replies the man.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 21, 2015
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene
Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down to 130!
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 28, 2015
Our forefathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness.
They should have given us a few clues as to where to look.
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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Feb 28, 2015
The next time you go on the roller coaster,take a handful of nuts and bolts with you,
and just as the car starts forward, hand them to the people in front of you and tell them they were under their seats.
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