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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

Humor and Fun

Random thoughts and jokes

Posted Jun 6, 2012

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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012
One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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Replies

  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Jan 14, 2017
    When life gives you lemons: squeeze them.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Jan 15, 2017
    [strong]You know what would be a great invention? A smoke alarm that would turn off when I yell, "Hey! I'm cooking here".[/strong]
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  • KO
    Kohaan
    Kohaan
    Jan 17, 2017
    Negligeewas an adjective before it became a word for a woman's nighttime garment. It was originally applied to a person who was not revealingly dressed, butnegligentlydressed.;-))
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Jan 18, 2017
    The difference between the U.S. Supreme Court and the Ku Klux Klan is that the members of the Supreme Court dress in black robes and scare white people.
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  • KO
    Kohaan
    Kohaan
    Jan 18, 2017
    It's been said that a lie can make it halfway around the world before the truth can get it's pants on. Maybe that can help explain the origin of the phrase*The Naked Truth*...:-))
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Jan 19, 2017
    During a lull in the rehearsal the groom and best man, two longtime friends and playboys, began to compare conquests. The groom, looking out over the crowd, said to his best man, "You know Bill, except for my wife to be, my two sisters and my mother, i've made love to every woman in this room." To which his friend responded, "Well then, between the two of us we've had them all!"
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Jan 22, 2017
    I became a professional fisherman... But discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Jan 25, 2017
    Tomorrow they are opening a time capsule we buried when I was a kid. I can't wait to see howbig my puppy is now.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Jan 31, 2017
    Japanese couple in an argument over ways of highly erotic sex Husband: Sukitaki. Wife replies: Kowanini! Husband says: Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo! Wife on her knees literally begging: Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji! Husband replies angrily: Na miaou kina tim kouji!. Are you actually reading this stuff as if you understand Japanese?
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 2, 2017
    You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's, only one begins with an R.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 3, 2017
    There are Uber Drivers, There are Taxi Drivers, There are Limousine Drivers, There are Bus Drivers, There are Truck Drivers, There are Race Car Drivers, Why are Train Drivers called Engineers?
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  • DE
    DesertRat
    DesertRat
    Feb 4, 2017
    Isn't it strange that "Hang Tight" and Hang Loose" basically mean the same things?
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 5, 2017
    Then there was the young married woman who drove 50 miles just to get 6 inches away from home.
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  • KO
    Kohaan
    Kohaan
    Feb 10, 2017
    Why is meteorologynotabout the study of meteors?
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 16, 2017

    I went to a strip mall the other day with my friend. Let me
    tell you, I was disappointed. Everybody else had on clothes.

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  • NU
    NudeJohnny
    NudeJohnny
    Feb 24, 2017

    Man cannot live by bread alone, unless he's locked in a cage and that's all you feed him.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 26, 2017
    Trumps wall will run along the Mexico border from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico.
    Doesn't that mean that both ends are at the waters edge?
    Does he think Mexicans can't swim?
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Feb 26, 2017
    [quote]Trumps wall will run along the Mexico border from the Pacific Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico. Doesnt that mean that both ends are at the waters edge? Does he think Mexicans cant swim?[/quote]He's as stupid as the people who voted for him.
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  • LA
    Laker06
    Laker06
    Feb 26, 2017

    And still wise enough to not care what people from other countries think.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 26, 2017
    [quote]And still wise enough to not care what people from other countries think.[/quote]Yeah, his foreign policy really sucks.
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  • LA
    Laker06
    Laker06
    Feb 27, 2017

    Sucks for other countries in the short term. Its time we fix our own problems before trying to solve everybody else's.

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  • PA
    Paul
    Paul
    Feb 27, 2017

    The country problem will never be fixed as he is only interested in him self and his friends.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Feb 28, 2017

    He IS the country's problem.

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  • LA
    Laker06
    Laker06
    Feb 28, 2017

    He is the Country's SOLUTION!!

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