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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 24, 2017It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.ReactReply
- KO
KohaanJul 26, 2017If you want to become rich... find out what poor people do... and DON'T do it.;-)ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJul 26, 2017
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.
"Great," Little Johnny replied.
"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.
"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!!!"
ReactReply - KOKohaanJul 29, 2017[quote] ... "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!!!"[/quote] I remember one time, when I bet on a horse that went off at25 to 1... but the other horses started at 12:30:-/- - - That does happen sometimes. The gates open... and... one of the horsesjust stands thereas if to say... What's all the noise and excitement about? - - It's also fun to watch ahugecrowd favorite go off @ 1:9 odds ... and then finish out of the money... That is, unless you were one of those people who thought it was a good, safe investment... next time, put your money in a bank :-))ReactReply
- KOKohaanJul 29, 2017[quote]Tea is an Evil Substance: Tea is much more dangerous beer! Please avoid drinking tea. I discovered this last night. I had drunk 14 beers up until 3am at the pub while my wife was at home drinking tea at home. You should have seen how angry and violent she was when I got home. I was peaceful, silent and headed to bed as she shouted at me, all night long and even into the next morning. ...[/quote] Are you sure you were in the right house? ... Some women get really upset when a drunken stranger tries to get into their bed.;-)ReactReply
- NU
NudeJohnnyAug 2, 2017I started carrying a pistol after an attempted mugging a few years ago.
Since then, my muggings have been much more successful.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 6, 2017[strong]I wouldn't want to fly Virgin.
Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?
[/strong]ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowAug 6, 2017[quote]I wouldnt want to fly Virgin. Whod want to fly an airline that doesnt go all the way?[/quote]Could be abloodydisaster.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 14, 2017Has anyone ever wondered why The Beatles didnt spell their name The Beetles?ReactReply
- LA
Lakeman221Aug 14, 2017[quote]I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way?[/quote] What about taking a non-stop flight? I would rather have the flight STOP when it get's to the destination it is headed to. How many non-stop flights are there still out there flying around not stopping?ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 20, 2017[strong]An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men cant see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks:
"Can you see me now?"
The four men answer: "Yes." "Oui." " Si." "Ja."[/strong]ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 23, 2017[strong]You know what would be a great invention?
A smoke alarm that would turn off when I yell, "Hey, Im cookin' here."[/strong]ReactReply - TO
TomAug 30, 2017Good point....I too lived through the Clinton era!
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 31, 2017Some pick up lines for daily use. * Are you as good as your mother? * Would you like to see my circumcision scar? * I have a two minute recovery time. * Didn't I do your sister? * Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants. * F**k me if I am wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen? * Yo. You'll do. * Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me! * Is there a Rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for? * What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? * My place.....Eight o'clock......bring a friend. * Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway? * [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?"] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. * I love every bone in your body - especially mine. * Do you want to see something swell? * If I followed you home, would you keep me? * Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!? * Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart. * So....How am I doin'? * A woman asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?" * What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply? * Beauty is only a light switch away...ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterAug 31, 2017
There's a tavern in London that's staffed,
By a barmaid who's tops at her craft:
In her striving to please,
She serves ale on her knees,
So the patrons get head with their draft.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterSep 1, 2017
There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel. He asked the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner.
After a while he started making passes, she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man.
"It's OK," he replied, "it's written in the Bible."
So after a wild night of sex, the hat check girl asked to see where in the Bible it says it's okay to have wild, passionate sex.
The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page where someone wrote in pencil: "The hat check girl puts out!"
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterSep 17, 2017I asked my girlfriend if size matters to her. She answered, "If it is clothes it's small' "If it's diamonds, I wear Large"ReactReply
- I_
I_am_SteveSep 23, 2017Some may say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and to them I say. "So's your face".
ReactReply - DE
DesertRatSep 29, 2017Hmmm. John McCain had a long military career. He is now fighting cancer in the brain. As a military veteran he is eligible for VA care. He has chosen instead to seek treatment at a private medical institute that is not even an official Medicare provider. To me this speaks volumes. Not about John McCain but of the medical care one receives at the VA. Pity the poor veteran who can't afford a private hospital.ReactReply - LA
Laker06Sep 29, 2017[quote]Hmmm. John McCain had a long military career. He is now fighting cancer in the brain. As a military veteran he is eligible for VA care. He has chosen instead to seek treatment at a private medical institute that is not even an official Medicare provider. To me this speaks volumes. Not about John McCain but of the medical care one receives at the VA. Pity the poor veteran who can't afford a private hospital.[/quote] No. It also speaks of John McCain. He was in a position for MANY years to improve VA care. The veterans deserve so much more.ReactReply - MA
macnudeOct 5, 2017What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.
ReactReply - KOKohaanNov 3, 2017Post #1458 -[quote]Hmmm. John McCain had a long military career. He is now fighting cancer in the brain. As a military veteran he is eligible for VA care. He has chosen instead to seek treatment at a private medical institute that is not even an official Medicare provider. To me this speaks volumes. Not about John McCain but of the medical care one receives at the VA. Pity the poor veteran who can't afford a private hospital. -- Post # 1459-- No. It also speaks of John McCain. He was in a position for MANY years to improve VA care. The veterans deserve so much more.[/quote] It's too bad that bad politicians can't be removed from office and sent packing... especially when they REFUSE to do what they PROMISED to do! :-/ReactReply
- KOKohaanNov 9, 2017
Do nudists like their salads naked... without any dressing? ... for example... Do you prefer French, Thousand Island, vinegar and oil -or- no dressing at all? ;-)
ReactReply - TOTomNov 10, 2017
Too funny!
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