Random thoughts and jokes

Replies

• LA

  

  Laker06

  Feb 28, 2017

  He is the Country's SOLUTION!!

  ReactReply
• FU

  

  FullSun

  Feb 28, 2017

  Nope, if you go to isolationism, tariffs, and not working with other countries the ones that get hurt are the American people. History proves that. Trump is an absolute disaster and you will regret supporting him when his policies etc get in place and have been in for a while. Most economists have said things may get better for a short while if he gets his way but then the economy will fall off a cliff with a d clinging economy AND inflation.

  Enough said here. We need to get back to the topic of this thread, random thoughts and jokes....

  Why do we call the showers in our homes showers when they put out more water than a heavy rain instead of a light shower?

  ReactReply
• LA

  

  Lakeman221

  Feb 28, 2017

  [quote] Why do we call the showers in our homes showers when they put out more water than a heavy rain instead of a light shower?[/quote] If you have perfectly CLEAR glass doors installed and a seating arrangement set up, you could call it a show-er if you invited others to take a seat while you wash.

  ReactReply
• PA

  

  Paul

  Feb 28, 2017

  [quote]Why do we call the showers in our homes showers when they put out more water than a heavy rain instead of a light shower? If you have perfectly CLEAR glass doors installed and a seating arrangement set up, you could call it a show-er if you invited others to take a seat while you wash.[/quote] So you can call yourself an exhibitionists.

  ReactReply
• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Feb 28, 2017

  [quote]Why do we call the showers in our homes showers when they put out more water than a heavy rain instead of a light shower? If you have perfectly CLEAR glass doors installed and a seating arrangement set up, you could call it a show-er if you invited others to take a seat while you wash.[/quote]Could call them Body Jets, but if shortened to BJ's, might give people the wrong idea.

  ReactReply
• LA

  

  Lakeman221

  Mar 4, 2017

  [quote]Almost all serial killers are men. That's because women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years[/quote] I used to be a cereal killer, Rice Crispies, Frosted Flakes, Cap'n Crunch, Corn Pops, Fruit Loops, you name it, I probably killed some of it.

  ReactReply
• MI

  

  Mike

  Mar 4, 2017

  I just got back from a pleasure trip,Took my mother-in-law to the airport!

  ReactReply
• DE

  

  DesertRat

  Mar 4, 2017

  DAMMIT IM MAD spells the same thing backwards.

  ReactReply
• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Mar 16, 2017

  [quote]OCD: Old, Cranky and Dangerous[/quote]Stop talking about my wife.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Mar 21, 2017

  The Hebrew teacher says to her class, "We have recently been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" "Aces," says Sarah.

  ReactReply
• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Mar 21, 2017

  [quote]The Hebrew teacher says to her class, "We have recently been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?" "Aces," says Sarah.[/quote]But they elected the Joker

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Mar 21, 2017

  [quote]The Hebrew teacher says to her class, "We have recentlybeen learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.But, there is a higher power.Can anybody tell me what it is?""Aces," says Sarah. But they elected the Joker[/quote] Not the people - The Electoral College

  ReactReply
• MA

  

  ManOfWicklow

  Mar 21, 2017

  Click pic to enlarge

  ReactReply
• LA

  

  Laker06

  Mar 21, 2017

  [quote]The Hebrew teacher says to her class, "We have recentlybeen learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.But, there is a higher power.Can anybody tell me what it is?""Aces," says Sarah. But they elected the Joker[/quote] Things were bad under David Cameron, but seem better with Theresa May.

  ReactReply
• KO

  

  Kohaan

  Apr 8, 2017

  If some people are offended by nudity, does that mean they bathe with their clothes on? ?

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 10, 2017

  The king wanted to go fishing. He called on the royal weather
  forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next
  few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no
  chance of rain in the coming days.

  So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen. On the way
  he met a farmer on his donkey. Upon seeing the king the farmer
  said, "Your Majesty, you should return to the palace! In just a
  short time I expect a huge amount of rain to fall in this area".

  The king was polite and considerate, he replied: "I hold the
  palace meteorologist in high regard. He is an extensively educated
  and experienced professional. And besides, I pay him very high
  wages. He gave me a very different forecast. I trust him."

  So the king continued on his way. However, a short time later a
  torrential rain fell from the sky. The King and Queen were totally
  soaked and their entourage chuckled upon seeing them in such a
  shameful condition. Furious, the king returned to the palace and
  gave the order to fire the professional.

  Then he summoned the farmer and offered him the prestigious and
  high paying role of royal forecaster. The farmer said, "Your Majesty,
  I do not know anything about forecasting. I obtain my information
  from my donkey. If I see my donkey's ears drooping, it means with
  certainty that it will rain."

  So the king hired the donkey.
  And thus began the practice of hiring dumb asses to work in the
  government and occupy its highest and most influential positions.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 16, 2017

  You know when you get that urge to eat something, just because it's there?
  Well, that's why I'm no longer a gynecologist.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 21, 2017

  LOL

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  May 12, 2017

  Politicians are people who, before election, promise a car to every garage.
  And after election they get busy putting up parking meters.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Jul 8, 2017

  [strong]The flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board, so she reports it to the Captain immediately.
  Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty, hot and sexy female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened... and the man she is with is an old slob who looks like a lecher: very sullen, mean and dangerous!
  The captain responds, Donna, Ive told you this before. This is Air Force One....
  [/strong]

  ReactReply
• MA

  

  macnude

  Jul 8, 2017

  [quote]Have you ever noticed how easy it is to change pubic hair into... public... hair?[/quote]I guess that means that nudists have public pubic hair.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Jul 13, 2017

  What is the difference between shame and guilt? Its guilt to sleep with somebody's wife, but it's a shame to miss the opportunity.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Jul 16, 2017

  I just read a book about the "Stockholm Syndrome." It was lousy at first, but by the end I kind'a liked it.

  ReactReply
• T=

  

  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Jul 21, 2017

  Two elderly gentlemen were visiting.
  "I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted.
  "Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me.
  But to be perfectly honest, I don't quite understand it."

  "Well," said his friend, "you have to remember that nowadays women are more aggressive.
  They don't mind being the one to ask."

  "No, I don't think it's that."

  "Well, maybe you remind her of her father."

  "No, it's not that either.
  It's just that she also mentioned something about carbon 14."

  ReactReply