T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jan 31, 2013Jokes in Sequential Order
Below are a few jokes; each joke is linked by a common noun to the previous joke.
Copy and paste the last joke into your post (don't quote or the quotes could get ridiculously long).
Type a joke using a common noun from the previous joke.
The next person will need to copy and paste your joke and add a new joke and so on and so on.
PLEASE LIST ONLY ONE JOKE AT A TIME.
Aredneckpassed away and left his estate in trust for his beloved widow, she can't touch it until she's 14.
A defrockedPriest, aredneck, a 14 year old cheerleader and a horse walk into a massage parlor...oops, sorry that's not a joke, that's an upcoming episode of "Law & Order SVU"
APriest, a Rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar,the bartendersays, What is this a joke?
Ahorsewalks into a bar, thebartendersays, Why the long face?
A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds hishorsehas been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town.The bartenderwalks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to walk home."
Below are a few jokes; each joke is linked by a common noun to the previous joke.
Copy and paste the last joke into your post (don't quote or the quotes could get ridiculously long).
Type a joke using a common noun from the previous joke.
The next person will need to copy and paste your joke and add a new joke and so on and so on.
PLEASE LIST ONLY ONE JOKE AT A TIME.
Aredneckpassed away and left his estate in trust for his beloved widow, she can't touch it until she's 14.
A defrockedPriest, aredneck, a 14 year old cheerleader and a horse walk into a massage parlor...oops, sorry that's not a joke, that's an upcoming episode of "Law & Order SVU"
APriest, a Rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar,the bartendersays, What is this a joke?
Ahorsewalks into a bar, thebartendersays, Why the long face?
A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds hishorsehas been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I'm gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain't outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town.The bartenderwalks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, "I had to walk home."
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Replies
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2013A verydrunkman comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says, "Is that the sun or the moon?"
The other drunk man answers, "I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself."
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Adrunkman was in front of a judge.
The judge says, Sir you've been brought here for drinking.
The drunk says: Okay, lets get started.ReactReply - MA
ManOfWicklowApr 4, 2013A drunkman was in front of a judgeThe judge says, Sir you've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says: Okay, lets get started.
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TheJudgeadmonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?†“I do.†“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?†“Sure,†said the witness. “My side will win.â€ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2013The Judge admonished thewitness, Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth? I do. Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful? Sure, said the witness. My side will win.
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A man dies and meets Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
Saint Peter welcomes the newcomer and gives him a conducted tour of heaven. He walks down the corridor with many rooms.
The doors of all the rooms are open and the occupants are happily moving from one room to another.
Peter explains that each of the rooms contains a different Christian denomination. When Peter and the newcomer arrive at the end of the corridor there is a door slammed tight shut.
There is a notice on the door, it reads "Do not disturb" signed JehovahWitness.Saint Peter puts his finger to his lips and says "Shhhh". The newcomer replies "Why".
"Because", says Saint Peter, "they think they are the only ones here"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 4, 2013A man dies andmeetsSaint Peter at the pearly gates.
Saint Peter welcomes the newcomer and gives him a conducted tour of heaven. He walks down the corridor with many rooms.
The doors of all the rooms are open and the occupants are happily moving from one room to another.
Peter explains that each of the rooms contains a different Christian denomination. When Peter and the newcomer arrive at the end of the corridor there is a door slammed tight shut.
There is a notice on the door, it reads "Do not disturb" signed Jehovah Witness. Saint Peter puts his finger to his lips and says "Shhhh". The newcomer replies "Why".
"Because", says Saint Peter, "they think they are the only ones here"
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A manmeetsa gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?†The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.â€ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2013A man meetsa gorgeous womanin a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because its so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him they kiss then they rip each others clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, Well, howd I do? The woman says, You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.
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A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there isa gorgeous womansitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back."Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you."They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?""No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 4, 2013A man is dining in a fancyrestaurant, and there is a gorgeous woman sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back."Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you."They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place and stay for breakfast the next morning.The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?""No," she replies, "you just happened to catch my eye."
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A couple were dining in a fancyrestaurantwhen the waitress spots the man sliding under the table whilst the woman seeming totally unconcerned. As he slid completely under the table, the waitress went across and quietly whispered to the woman "Excuse me but your husband has just slid under your table". "Oh no he hasn't" said the woman, "he's just walked in."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2013A couple were dining in a fancy restaurant when thewaitressspots the man sliding under the table whilst the woman seeming totally unconcerned. As he slid completely under the table, the waitress went across and quietly whispered to the woman "Excuse me but your husband has just slid under your table". "Oh no he hasn't" said the woman, "he's just walked in."
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"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blondewaitresswalks in the door."It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down the street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course; all my training came back to me in a minute.""What did you do?" asks the bartender."I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 4, 2013"How come you're late?" asks the bartender as the blonde waitress walks in the door."It was awful," she explains. "I was walking down the street and there was this terrible accident. A man was lying in the middle of the street; he was thrown from his car. Hislegwas broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course; all my training came back to me in a minute.""What did you do?" asks the bartender."I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
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I told my doctor I broke mylegin two places. He said to quit going to those places.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2013I told mydoctorI broke my leg in two places. He said to quit going to those places.
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Thedoctortook his patient into the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."
"Give me the good news," said the patient.
"They're going to name a disease after you."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 5, 2013The doctor took hispatientinto the room and said, "I have some good news and some bad news."
"Give me the good news," said the patient.
"They're going to name a disease after you."
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As the doctor completed an examination of thepatient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 5, 2013As thedoctorcompleted an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking." "In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"
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Adoctorwas having an affair with his nurse who became pregnant. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and instructed her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.
"Just send me a postcard," he replied, "and write spaghetti on the back. I'll take care of all the expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months later, the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Honey, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I'll explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home and, after reading the postcard, dropped to the floor clutching his chest. Paramedics rushed him to the emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest, and the doctor's wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti -- two with sausage and meatballs; two without."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 5, 2013A doctor was having anaffairwith his nurse who became pregnant. Not wanting his wife to find out, he gave the nurse a large sum of money and instructed her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.
"Just send me a postcard," he replied, "and write spaghetti on the back. I'll take care of all the expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months later, the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Honey, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I'll explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home and, after reading the postcard, dropped to the floor clutching his chest. Paramedics rushed him to the emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest, and the doctor's wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti -- two with sausage and meatballs; two without."
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Mom'sAffair
There was this woman see, and she takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
Man - remembering last time, asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again!"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 5, 2013Mom's Affair
There was this woman see, and she takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Without her knowing, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides the lover in the closet, where the little boy is also hiding.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$250." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball glove." Man - remembering last time, asks, "How much?" Boy - "$750." Man - "Fine." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your ball and glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says "$1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here."The priestsays, "Don't start that shit again!"
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It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a few minutes.Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend. "However",he said, "as soon as you get back Monday morning I want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." The four nuns agree, and run off. Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an R-rated movie." The priest looks up at heavenfor a few seconds, then replies, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holywater." The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chucklequietly under her breath.
The second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "Forgive me , Father,for I have sinned." The priest replies, "OK, what happened?" She says, "I was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house, and I hit a neighbors dog and killed it." The priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says,"You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water."The second nun goes out.
By this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.Then the third nun walks to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for Ihave sinned." The priest asks, "Out with it. What did you do?" She says,"Last night, I ran naked up and down Main Street." The priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "God forgives you. Go and drink the holy water." She leaves. The fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her cheeks.
The priestasks her, "OK. What did you do that was so bloody funny?"The fourth nun replies, "I peed in the holy water...ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 6, 2013It was Friday, and four nuns went to the priest at the local Catholic church to ask for the weekend off. They argued back and forth for a few minutes.Finally the priest agreed to let them leave the convent for the weekend. "However",he said, "as soon as you get backMondaymorning I want you to confess to me what you did over the weekend." The four nuns agree, and run off. Monday comes, and the four nuns return. The first nun goes to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." The priest asks, "What did you do, Sister?" She replies, "I watched an R-rated movie." The priest looks up at heavenfor a few seconds, then replies, "You are forgiven. Go and drink the holywater." The first nun leaves, and the fourth nun begins to chucklequietly under her breath.
The second nun then goes up to the priest and says, "Forgive me , Father,for I have sinned." The priest replies, "OK, what happened?" She says, "I was driving my brother's car down the street in front of his house, and I hit a neighbors dog and killed it." The priest looks up to heaven for half a minute, then says,"You are forgiven. Go and drink the holy water."The second nun goes out.
By this time, the fourth nun is laughing quite audibly.Then the third nun walks to the priest and says, "Forgive me, Father, for Ihave sinned." The priest asks, "Out with it. What did you do?" She says,"Last night, I ran naked up and down Main Street." The priest looks up at heaven for a full five minutes before responding, "God forgives you. Go and drink the holy water." She leaves. The fourth nun falls on the floor, laughing so hard tears run down her cheeks.
The priestasks her, "OK. What did you do that was so bloody funny?"The fourth nun replies, "I peed in the holy water...
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Sunday morning is likeMondaymorning except with better coffee and less bullshit.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 6, 2013Sunday morning is like Monday morning except with bettercoffeeand less bullshit.
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Retirement is one great big giantcoffeebreak.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 6, 2013Retirement is one great biggiantcoffee break.
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A dwarf gets on an elevator and pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps agiantof a man. The dwarf stares and says "You’re the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods his head, and replies " I’m 6-9, weigh 259 lbs., and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown.†The dwarf faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said I’m 6 - 9, 259 lbs., with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown.†The dwarf looked relieved and started laughing. “For a minute there, I thought you said ‘Turn Around’.â€ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 6, 2013A dwarfgets on an elevator andpushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a giant of a man. The dwarf stares and says "Youre the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods his head, and replies " Im 6-9, weigh 259 lbs., and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown. The dwarf faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said Im 6 - 9, 259 lbs., with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown. The dwarf looked relieved and started laughing. For a minute there, I thought you said Turn Around. -----------------------------------------------
A blondegets on an elevator anda man is standing there and she turned andsmiled at him and said; "Hi... T.G.I.F."
" S.H.I.T. " replied the man "Excuse me...how rude T.G.I.F." responded the blonde. "S.H.I.T." replied that man. "Maybe you don't know what I am saying, T.G.I.F means Thank Goodness It's Friday!" " You didn't understand me, S.H.I.T... "Sorry honey, it's Thursday"ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 6, 2013Yo' Mama is sopoor, when I stepped on a cockroach crawling across her floor, she said, "Now what do we do for supper?"
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She’s toopoorto afford make-up. Instead of eye shadow she just sticks her head up the chimney and blinks.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 6, 2013Shes too poor to afford make-up. Instead of eye shadow she just sticks herheadup the chimney and blinks.
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Allan, a mechanic, was removing a cylinderheadfrom a Harley-Davidson motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
Allan shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc can I ask you a question?' The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to Allan. Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?'
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered in Allan's ear, 'Try doing it with the engine running.'ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 7, 2013Allan, a mechanic, was removing a cylinder head from a Harley-Davidson motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the servicemanagerto come and take a look at his bike.
Allan shouted across the garage, 'Hey Doc can I ask you a question?' The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to Allan. Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, 'So Doc, look at this engine. I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix'em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?'
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered in Allan's ear, 'Try doing it with the engine running.'
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A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"It's a Toyota."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter.
"That's it!" the lady says. "How much?"
"It's on the house," themanagerreplied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 7, 2013Ablondelady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one.""What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked."It's a Toyota.""Okay lady, how big is it?"She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.The clerk asks, "What does it do?""I don't know, but its always been there."By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the counter."That's it!" the lady says. "How much?""It's on the house," the manager replied. "Please come back often. You have no idea how entertaining it was waiting on you."
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Ablonde, a redhead and a brunette jumped off of a tall building. Who took the longest to hit the ground? The blonde because she had to stop and ask directions!ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 7, 2013A blonde, a redhead and a brunette jumped off of a tallbuilding. Who took the longest to hit the ground? The blonde because she had to stop and ask directions!
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Tom and Dick arebuildinga house when Tom sees Dick going through a bag of nails. He looks at each nail in turn and some he puts into a box and others he throws into a bin. ‘Why are you throwing those nails away?’ asks Tom. ‘Because they’re pointed at the wrong end,’ says Dick. ‘You idiot,’ replies Tom. ‘Those nails are for the other side of the house.’ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 7, 2013Tom andDickare building a house when Tom sees Dick going through a bag of nails. He looks at each nail in turn and some he puts into a box and others he throws into a bin. Why are you throwing those nails away? asks Tom. Because theyre pointed at the wrong end, says Dick. You idiot, replies Tom. Those nails are for the other side of the house.
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Tom,Dickand Harry, three explorers, were captured by cannibals in the jungles of Borneo.The cannibal chief says to them, "If you pass the tribal test we will let you live. Go into the jungle and gather 10 items of the same fruit. "So the three guys scamper into the woods, and Tom comes back first with 10 apples. The Chief explains the trial to him, "You must shove the fruits up your butt without any statement on your face or you will be eaten." The first apple was okay but Tom winced in pain on the second apple, and was promptly killed and went to heaven (he was a good explorer). Dick comes back with 10 berries and the chief explains the trial to him as well. Dick doesn't think it should be too tough and begins. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. But on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and is killed. Tom and Dick meet in heaven where Tom asks, "Dick, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" Dick replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Harry coming with an armload of pineapples."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowApr 7, 2013Tom,Dick and Harry, three explorers, were captured by cannibals in the jungles of Borneo.The cannibalchiefsays to them, "If you pass the tribal test we will let you live. Go into the jungle and gather 10 items of the same fruit. "So the three guys scamper into the woods, and Tom comes back first with 10 apples. The Chief explains the trial to him, "You must shove the fruits up your butt without any statement on your face or you will be eaten." The first apple was okay but Tom winced in pain on the second apple, and was promptly killed and went to heaven (he was a good explorer). Dick comes back with 10 berries and the chief explains the trial to him as well. Dick doesn't think it should be too tough and begins. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. But on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and is killed. Tom and Dick meet in heaven where Tom asks, "Dick, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" Dick replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw Harry coming with an armload of pineapples."
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A NavyChiefand an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some aftershave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."ReactReply