Add a Joke in Sequential Order

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 7, 2013

  A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some aftershave to slap on their faces.The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in awhorehouse!"The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."
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  Three woodcutters were finishing up a hard, four-month stint in the forest. They had not seen or heard anything other than the trees and the sound of their axes that entire time. They packed up, and headed to the nearest town.After getting sufficiently drunk, they decided to visit the townwhorehouse. Upon entering, the madam became nervous at the sight of the three men because she had only two girls working that night. She thought on her feet, and decided to bed the drunkest looking woodcutter with a blow-up doll.After all was done they met downstairs to compare notes. The drunkest woodcutter said: "She was okay at first, but a little too quiet. So I bit her nipple, then she let out a huge fart and flew out the window."

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 7, 2013

  Three woodcutters were finishing up a hard, four-month stint in the forest. They had not seen or heard anything other than the trees and the sound of their axes that entire time. They packed up, and headed to the nearest town.After getting sufficientlydrunk, they decided to visit the town whorehouse. Upon entering, the madam became nervous at the sight of the three men because she had only two girls working that night. She thought on her feet, and decided to bed the drunkest looking woodcutter with a blow-up doll.After all was done they met downstairs to compare notes. The drunkest woodcutter said: "She was okay at first, but a little too quiet. So I bit her nipple, then she let out a huge fart and flew out the window."
  
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  A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing.
  The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.
  The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak.
  Finally thedrunkreplies - "No use knockin' mate - there's no paper in this one either".

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 7, 2013

  A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession boxbut says nothing.The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak.Finally the drunk replies - "No use knockin' mate - there's no paper in this one either".
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  A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box.There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.He hears a priest come in:"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".
  The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".
  

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 8, 2013

  A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueurchocolatesnearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.He hears a priest come in:"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".
  The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".
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  Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in northern Arizona when she saw an [img style="FLOAT: right" alt=feather src="http://www.lafontain.com/images/Chocolate_Fun/feather.png" width=43 height=130>elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. Since her trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box ofchocolates. I got it for my husband". The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 8, 2013

  Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. Since her trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for myhusband". The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade."
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  A husband and wife were shopping when thehusbandeyed up a shapely young woman in a short, tight skirt. Without looking up from the item she was examining, the wife said: "Was it worth the trouble you're in?"
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 8, 2013

  Little Johnnycomes home from school with a note from his teacher, indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the differences between boys and girls," and would his mother, "please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this." So Johnny's mother takes him quietly, by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom, and closes the door. - First, Johnny, I want you to take off my blouse... so he unbuttons her blouse and takes it off. - Ok, now take off my skirt... and he takes off her skirt. - Now take off my bra... which he does. - And now, Johnny, please take off my panties. and when Johnny finishes removing those, she says, "Johnny, PLEASE don't wear any of my clothes to school any more!"
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  Little Johnnyis always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor man takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 8, 2013

  Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, aneighborman takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
  
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  My nosyneighborpopped his head over the fence and said, "How did your trip to Amsterdam go?"
  
  I said, "It was ok. I smoked loads of weed. Met a beautiful woman. Fantastic figure, intelligent, and a great personality. In fact she reminded me of your wife a bit."
  
  He laughed and said, "Which bit?"
  
  I said, "The bit where she charges for sex."

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 8, 2013

  My nosy neighbor popped his head over the fence and said,"How did your trip to Amsterdam go?"  I said, "It was ok. I smoked loads of weed. Met a beautiful woman. Fantastic figure, intelligent, and a great personality. In fact she reminded me of your wife a bit."
  He laughed and said, "Which bit?"
  I said, "The bit where she charges for sex."
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  My nosy neighbor popped his head over the fence and said,   "It may be none of my business, but this afternoon a strange man came to your house and your wife let him in. I peeked through the curtains and saw them making wild, passionate love."
  I asked, "Was he short, about 5 foot 8?"
  "Yes," the neighbor answered, "I believe he was."
  "Did he have a droopy eye, and appear drunk?" I asked.
  "Yes," the neighbor answered..
  "Then that was the mailman, Jim, He'll screw anyone!"
  

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 9, 2013

  My nosy neighbor popped his head over the fence and said,   "It may be none of my business, but this afternoon a strange man came to your house and your wife let him in. I peeked through the curtains and saw them making wild, passionate love."
  I asked, "Was he short, about 5 foot 8?"
  "Yes," the neighbor answered, "I believe he was."
  "Did he have a droopy eye, and appear drunk?" I asked.
  "Yes," the neighbor answered..
  "Then that was themailman, Jim, He'll screw anyone!"
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  Amailmanwho had delievered mail to this neighborhood was finally retiring after 30 long years. So on his last day each house had little gifts for him to show him how much they cared, the first house he came to gave him a gift basket full off food, the next house gave him some baked goods and so on. Then he comes up to this one house and standing in the doorway is this gorgeous BLOND and she is wearing nothing but this little neglegie. She takes the mailman by the hand and leads him upstairs where she gives him the best and the longest sex that he has ever had. Man talk about every fantacy fullfilled. After that he takes him downstrairs and fixes him a wonderful breakfast. After he finishes he sees a dollar bill under his water glass so he asks about it. She says, well I was telling my husband that today was your last day and asked him what we should do for you and he says Screw Him, Give him a dollar.

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 9, 2013

  A mailman who had delivered mail to this neighborhood was finally retiring after 30 long years. So on his last day each house had little gifts for him to show him how much they cared, the first house he came to gave him a gift basket full off food, the next house gave him some baked goods and so on. Then he comes up to this one house and standing in the doorway is this gorgeousBLONDand she is wearing nothing but this little negligee. She takes the mailman by the hand and leads him upstairs where she gives him the best and the longest sex that he has ever had. Man talk about every fantasy fulfilled. After that he takes him downstairs and fixes him a wonderful breakfast. After he finishes he sees a dollar bill under his water glass so he asks about it. She says, well I was telling my husband that today was your last day and asked him what we should do for you and he says Screw Him, Give him a dollar.
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  A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blond) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside.Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in.The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"Theblondreplies, "Darn right there's a problem! My computer keeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 9, 2013

  A man was trimming his bushes. His neighbor (the blond) walks out, checks her mail only to see that it's empty, and goes back inside.Five minutes later, she comes back out, checks her mail again only to see that it's still empty, and goes back in.The third time she comes out, the man asks her, "Excuse me, is there a problem?"The blond replies, "Darn right there's a problem! Mycomputerkeeps on telling me 'I've got mail'!"
  
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  One of Microsoft's finestcomputertechnicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
  
  The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 9, 2013

  One ofMicrosoft'sfinest computer technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
  The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
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  There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, witha couple of very important executives on board. He was coming intothe Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10 milesvisibility when his instruments went out.
  He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a smallopening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guyworking alone on the fifth floor. He banks the plane around, rollsdown the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"
  The man replies, "You're in an airplane." The pilot rolls up thewindow, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to perform aperfect blind landing on the airport runway 5 miles away. Just asthe plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
  The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.
  "Quite easy," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correctbut absolutely useless, therefore, that must beMicrosoft'ssupport office and from there the airport is just five miles dueEast."
  
  

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 10, 2013

  There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, witha couple of very important executives on board. He was coming intotheSeattleairport through thick fog with less than 10 milesvisibility when his instruments went out.
  He began circling around looking for a landmark. Finally, a smallopening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with a guyworking alone on the fifth floor. He banks the plane around, rollsdown the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"
  The man replies, "You're in an airplane." The pilot rolls up thewindow, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to perform aperfect blind landing on the airport runway 5 miles away. Just asthe plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
  The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.
  "Quite easy," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correctbut absolutely useless, therefore, that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles dueEast."
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  ASeattlewoman became trapped in her car when it became lodged down an elevator shaft. This is what happens when you drive a Toy-Otis.

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 10, 2013

  A Seattle woman became trapped in her car when it became lodged down anelevator shaft. This is what happens when you drive a Toy-Otis.
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  A good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep".
  Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tired wife because she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs.
  Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man.
  He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down theelevator shaft!"

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 10, 2013

  A good Samaritan was walking home late one night when he came upon this drunk on the sidewalk. Wanting to help, he asked the drunk "do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked "Is this your floor?" "Yep".
  Then the good Samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn't want to face the man's irate and tiredwifebecause she may think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went back downstairs. However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk. So he asked that drunk "Do you live here?" "Yep". "Would you like me to help you upstairs?" "Yep". So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk. Then went back downstairs.
  Where, to his surprise, there was another drunk. So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk staggered over to a policeman and cried "Please officer, protect me from this man.
  He's been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs and throwing me down the elevator shaft!"
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  "Honey," said this husband to hiswife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
  "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
  "I know all that."
  "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
  "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
  
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 10, 2013

  "Honey," said thishusbandto his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper.""What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!""I know all that.""Then why did you invite a friend for supper?""Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
  
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  Ahusbandand wife were chatting with friends when the subject of marriage counselling was raised.
  The husband said: "Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship. She has a communications degree and I have a degree in theatre arts. She communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening."

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 10, 2013

  A husband and wife were chatting with friends when the subject of marriage counselling was raised.
  The husband said: "Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship. She has acommunicationsdegree and I have a degree in theatre arts. She communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening."
  
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  The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for Europeancommunications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
  As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
  In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".
  Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
  There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
  In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
  Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
  By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
  During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
  Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 10, 2013

  TheEuropean Unioncommissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....
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  AEuropean UnionDepartment of Water Resources representative stops at a West Country farm and talks with the old farmer.He tells the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for the EU water allocation directive". The farmer says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".The Representative says, "Sir!, I have the full authority of the European Unionwith me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land, NO questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"The farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter the farmer hears loud screams and sees the representative running for his life followed close behind by the farmer's bull, who's gaining with every step.The rep is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the topof his lungs..... "Your card! Show him your card! "
  
  

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 11, 2013

  A nurse at ahospitalreceived a call from an anxious patient."I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said."Are you light-headed?" the nurse asked."No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
  
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  A Rabbi walks over to a nurse at theHospitaland said “Hello Nurse, I got a call that a patient wants to see me but I can’t remember who it was.”
  
  The nurse takes a guess and walks into a patients room, wakes her up, and asks “Did you ask for a Rabbi?”
  
  “No” the patient says sleepily “I ordered the chef’s salad”
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 11, 2013

  A Rabbi walks over to anurseat the Hospital and said Hello Nurse, I got a call that a patient wants to see me but I cant remember who it was. The nurse takes a guess and walks into a patients room, wakes her up, and asks Did you ask for a Rabbi?No the patient says sleepily I ordered the chefs salad.
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  Anursecaring for a man from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the man produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
  

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 11, 2013

  A nurse caring for a man fromKentuckyasked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. The nurse asked to see the jelly and the man produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
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  A Tennessee Volunteers fan and aKentuckyWildcats fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Tennessee fan slams on the brakes.
  
  There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Tennessee Volunteers fan said "We Volunteers never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
  
  Then he says to the Kentucky fan, "Your turn"...
  
  And the Wildcats fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 11, 2013

  A  Volunteers fan and a Kentucky Wildcats fan were driving along when all of a sudden theTennesseefan slams on the brakes.There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Tennessee Volunteers fan said "We Volunteers never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.Then he says to the Kentucky fan, "Your turn"...And the Wildcats fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
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  An Alabama student, Vandy student andTennesseestudent were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Tennessee. The Alabama student opens his lunch box and says, “A hotdog again! If I have to eat one more hotdog I’m going to jump off this bridge!”The Vandy student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, “Salad again! If I have to eat salad one more time I’m going to jump too!”Lastly the Tennessee student opens his lunchbox and complains, “Peanut butter and jelly! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more time I’m going to end it all too!”The next day the Alabama student finds another hotdog and jumps… the Vandy student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too… finally the Tennessee student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.Later when the three mothers were grieving the Alabama mother cries, “If I had only known he didn’t like hotdogs,” and the Vandy mother cried, “I thought salad was good for him.” The Tennessee mother then exclaimed, “I don’t understand… he fixed his own lunch every day!”

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  ManOfWicklow

  Apr 11, 2013

  An Alabama student, Vandy student and Tennesseestudentwere all having lunch together on a bridge outside Tennessee. The Alabama student opens his lunch box and says, A hotdog again! If I have to eat one more hotdog Im going to jump off this bridge!The Vandy student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, Salad again! If I have to eat salad one more time Im going to jump too!Lastly the Tennessee student opens his lunchbox and complains, Peanut butter and jelly! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more time Im going to end it all too!The next day the Alabama student finds another hotdog and jumps the Vandy student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too finally the Tennessee student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.Later when the three mothers were grieving the Alabama mother cries, If I had only known he didnt like hotdogs, and the Vandy mother cried, I thought salad was good for him. The Tennessee mother then exclaimed, I dont understand he fixed his own lunch every day!
  
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  A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
  
  So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for onestudent. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
  
  Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
  
  His answer to the question: "What chair?"
  
  
  

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  Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster

  Apr 11, 2013

  Aphilosophyprofessor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
  
  So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
  Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
  His answer to the question: "What chair?"
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  A job huntingphilosophymajor, went here, there and everywhere in his search for employment, but in vain. Having run out of options, he swallowed his pride and took up the offer of playing a bear in a costume at a zoo. He was locked up in a cage, where he was supposed to imitate various bear-like movements to entertain visitors.To his horror, another bear appeared in the cage and started approaching him. He panicked and was on the brink of collapse when the bear said: "Don't be afraid. I'm also a philosophy major."

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