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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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Replies
- MA
ManOfWicklowMay 3, 2013Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 4, 2013Five out of four people have problems with fractions.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 4, 2013Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from adunce.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 4, 2013Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 4, 2013The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 4, 2013One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language.
For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building,"
They would turn off the lights and lock the doors.
The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter.
Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat.
The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMay 5, 2013Ham and eggs: A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 5, 2013Where ever you go, there you are.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 5, 2013The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 6, 2013Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your nose.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 6, 2013My wife and I divorced over religious differences…..She thought she was God and I didn’t.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 6, 2013My ex bought expensive negligees at Victoria's Secret to wear at night to spice up our sex life.
I had a better idea I went to Home Depot and bought a dimmer switch.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 7, 2013Once upon a time I got down on one knee to propose, she said, "Shhh!... talk to me during the commercial."ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 8, 2013My wife said she wanted more freedom. I fitted a longer leash on her.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 8, 2013The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those that got there first.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 8, 2013The early bird may catch the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 9, 2013If it cannot be said with one line, the idea is too complex for my poor brain.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 9, 2013I keep adjusting the brightness control on my TV, but it's still as stupid as ever.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 9, 2013Q: What do gingers look forward to later on in life?
A: Grey HairReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 9, 2013The sure way to be cheated is to think ones self more cunning than others.
~ Franois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMay 10, 2013The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 10, 2013Why a Ponzi Scheme works."If pigeons are getting fed, they aren't picky about who's feeding them."
~ Tom Hale Cat Sitter Among The Pigeons By Blaize ClementReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMay 10, 2013Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason now I have a reason.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 10, 2013Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.ReactReply