T=
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
ReactReplySubscribe
Replies
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 19, 2013Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself - "Where the hell is the ceiling???"ReactReply
- MA
ManOfWicklowMay 19, 2013Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 20, 2013Some days I just don't have enough middle fingers for those that deserve it.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 20, 2013I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 21, 2013Why can't life's problems hit us when we're 17 and know everything?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 21, 2013The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 22, 2013I wake up every day planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says "ha-ha good one" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 22, 2013Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 22, 201350 Miss' America have 100 boobs. Each of the 50 states has 2 Senators each. Co-incidence?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 22, 2013The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.ReactReply
- NUnudecountry77May 22, 2013Rush Hour = more than an hour to get through it
Fast Food = what is fast about it, always have to wait for 10 minutes to get your food and all i ordered was a pop
Minute Lube = takes more than a minute to change my oil and lube my truck
High Speed and Digital internet and cable = there is a differenceReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 22, 2013Once there was a little red man, who lived in a little red house in a little red neighbourhood. Every morning he got out of his little red bed, went down his little red stairs and made his little red breakfast. Upon finishing his little red breakfast, he would make his way back up his little red stairs into his little red bathroom and turn on his little red shower. Stripping down to his little red bare self, he then hopped in his little red shower.
One morning in particular at this time there came a knock on his little red door. So he jumped out of his little red shower, put on his little red towel and raced down his little red stairs to open up his little red door, only to find a green avon lady standing there. At that point a gust of wind blew his little red towel off and onto his little red floor. The green avon lady gasped in horror at what she saw, turned around quickly, ran across the road and got hit by a truck.........
And the moral of the story is?
DON'T cross the street whilst the little red man is flashing!ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMay 23, 2013I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 23, 2013Why isn't there a middle finger emoticon? I swear I would use it 99% of the time.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 23, 2013[quote]Why isn't there a middle finger emoticon? I swear I would use it 99% of the time.[/quote][img src="http://www.jerriehurd.com/wp-content/uploads/et_temp/th_Funny_finger_justforyou-5650_147x147.gif">ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 23, 2013I really hate that rejected feeling you get when you hold a baby and it starts to cry.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 24, 2013If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 25, 2013No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 25, 2013Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 26, 2013When all men think alike, no one thinks very much.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 26, 2013If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 26, 2013The only reason I take my wife anywhere is so I don't have to kiss her goodbye.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 26, 2013If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 26, 2013Q: What do you call a Florida gynecologist?
A: A spreader of old wives' tails.ReactReply