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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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Replies
- MA
ManOfWicklowMay 11, 2013Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 11, 2013Intelligence is like underwear, everyone should have it, but we shouldn't show it off.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 11, 2013Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 12, 2013My reality check bounced.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 12, 2013The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 12, 2013Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 12, 2013If you father is a poor man, it's your fate, but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 13, 2013The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 13, 2013My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 13, 2013There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 13, 2013I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 13, 2013Become an amateur gynecologist. Look up a friend today.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 13, 2013Q. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A. The older they get the easier they are to pick up.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 14, 2013Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 14, 2013Theres 10 times more fishing licenses sold than marriage licenses each year which proves fishing is 10 times more popular than marriage.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 15, 2013I told my ex that she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 17, 2013Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 17, 2013Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 17, 2013My Ex was going away for a few days and left me a list of chores. For fun, she put down as Item 5: "Think about your wife a lot." After she returned, I reported that I had completed every job.
When she looked over the list, she noticed, each item EXCEPT No. 5 had been crossed off.
"What's this?" She yelled. "Didn't you think about me while I was gone?"
Thinking fast I replied cheerfully, "I started to, but just never finished."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMay 18, 2013Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 18, 2013I told my ex that she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowMay 18, 2013Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 19, 2013If you mix flour, water and salt you get glue.
If you add eggs, baking powder and oil, you get cake.
Where does the glue go?ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowMay 19, 2013Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.ReactReply