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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- MA
ManOfWicklowJun 4, 2013Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 4, 2013When my five-year-old twins opened their birthday gifts from their grandmother, they each found one of those tricked-out water blasters.
The boys squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink to fill it up.
Thinking about the mess that was sure to follow, I turned to my mother and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
A smile spread across my mother's face and she replied. "Oh, I remember."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 4, 2013
A little girl was sitting on her grandmothers lap as she read her a book. She repeatedly touched her grandmothers cheek and then her own fascinated by the difference.
“Grandma†she asked, “Did God make you?â€
“Yes dear,†Grandma replied, “God made me a long time ago.â€
“Did God make me?†she asked.
“Yes, God made you too.†Answered Grandma.
“Well he sure has gotten better over the years, hasn’t he?ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 5, 2013It was a bitterly cold day on the Carnoustie golf course and Jimmy the caddy was expecting a large tip
from his rich Scottish client. As they approached the clubhouse, Jimmy heard the words he was longing to hear,
'This is for a hot glass of whiskey.' So the caddy held out his hand and the Scottish client put a sugar cube in his palm.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 5, 2013What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? You can tune a lawn mower.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 5, 2013Once I was asked to attend a sensitivity-in-the-workplace seminar, it would have beena total bore had the instructor not possessed such absolutely enormous boobs.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 5, 2013
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 6, 2013Don't you hate when someone new moves into the neighborhood and starts bitching about everything he sees?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 6, 2013[quote]Don't you hate when someone new moves into the neighborhood and starts bitching about everything he sees.[/quote]Hate it when immigrants come into the Country and then start bitching about things. No one is forcing them to stay. If I go into a bar and don't like the beer they're serving, then I leave and find one that I do like.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 6, 2013Don't you hate it when someone signs onto TrueNudists and starts bitching about everything?ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 7, 2013I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.ReactReply
- NUnudecountry77Jun 8, 2013Does starting every morning with a shot of jack daniels make the day(s) end quicker?? I'll let you know when I remember what day it is.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 9, 2013You might be a redneck if Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.â€ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 9, 2013You might be a redneck if you've ever used s toilet seat as a picture frame.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 11, 2013You might be a redneck if you think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 11, 2013You might be a redneck if you think Genitalia is an Italian airline.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 11, 2013You might be a redneck if you ever cut your grass and found a car.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 11, 2013You might be a redneck if you think the stock market has a fence around it.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 11, 2013I wonder who invented hugs.
The first hug must have been soo awkward.
"Whoa, what are you doin, youre holding me?"
"Shhh just trust me."ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJun 12, 2013I would think cannibals were the first people to use hugs. They like to have a good feel of their ready made meal.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 12, 2013I'm going on a diet and stick to it.. I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to exercise every day. Oh, look cake.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 12, 2013You can lose weight and it will come back without you looking for it, but try doing that with money !ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJun 12, 2013I keep losing everything except weight.ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJun 12, 2013I don't believe for a second weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that's indecision.ReactReply