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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney

Humor and Fun

Random thoughts and jokes

Posted Jun 6, 2012

Replies1462
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Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012
One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"

She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."

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Replies

  • BO
    BornAgain
    BornAgain
    Nov 20, 2013

    Snuggli

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Nov 20, 2013
    My wife said she wanted to go somewhere she'd never been before. I said "Try the kitchen"
    ReactReply
  • BO
    BornAgain
    BornAgain
    Nov 20, 2013

    ouch!

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Nov 20, 2013

    [img src="http://rlv.zcache.ca/women_and_cats_will_do_as_they_please_mousepad-r591086d00bcf4cdbb36e4646d985003e_x74vi_8byvr_324.jpg">

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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Nov 21, 2013
    The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
    ReactReply
  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Nov 21, 2013
    I have sexdaily...I mean dyslexia!
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 10, 2013
    My wife said she needed more exercise: I put a treadmill next to the kitchen sink.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 10, 2013
    My wife said she needed a wrist watch, I told her she didn't need one because there was one on the microwave.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 10, 2013
    It's not easy wearing a microwave cooker on your wrist.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 11, 2013
    How do you spot a psychiatrist in a nudist camp?
    He's the one listening instead of looking
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 11, 2013
    How do you spot a psychiatrist in a nudist camp?   With ink.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 12, 2013
    I bought a box of self-improvement  tapes titled "How To Handle Disappointment. "
    I got it home and the box was empty.
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 12, 2013

    A muslim, a socialist, and a communist walk into a bar.  The bartender says hello Mr. President.

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 12, 2013
    A socialist OR a communist. Can't be both.
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 12, 2013
    Communism does not exist.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 12, 2013
    Then who walked into the bar?
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 13, 2013
    A Kenyan guy from Hawaii.
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 13, 2013
    Who walked into the bar with him?
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  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 13, 2013
    His delusions.
    ReactReply
  • NU
    nudecountry77
    Dec 13, 2013

    why do opposites attract?

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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 14, 2013
    What else do the have to do?
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 14, 2013
    What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?   Magnets have a positive side!
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  • T=
    Tom === Thomas S. Tierney
    Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
    Dec 14, 2013
    OK, I admit. It was me. I let the dogs out.
    ReactReply
  • MA
    ManOfWicklow
    ManOfWicklow
    Dec 14, 2013
    Who let the cat in ?
    ReactReply