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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- MA
ManOfWicklowJan 2, 2014Most reporters are stupid.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 2, 2014World Wide!ReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJan 2, 2014I was drunk last night,so I took a bus home. First time I'd driven a bus.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 2, 2014http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/10771070.Bus_stolen_and_taken_on_joyride/
UHOH! See you on the chain gang.ReactReply - MAManOfWicklowJan 3, 2014[quote]See you on the chain gang.[/quote]Why,you getting married again.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 3, 2014[quote][quote]See you on the chain gang.[/quote]Why,you getting married again.[/quote]I didn't steal a busReactReply
- MAManOfWicklowJan 3, 2014[quote][quote][quote]See you on the chain gang.[/quote]Why,you getting married again.[/quote]I didn't steal a bus[/quote]You didn't get the joke ?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 3, 2014[quote][quote][quote][quote]See you on the chain gang.[/quote]Why,you getting married again.[/quote]I didn't steal a bus[/quote]You didn't get the joke ?[/quote]Yes, AND I added to the joke and you dragged in marriageReactReply
- NU
NudeJohnnyJan 23, 2014Sounds like a divorce is neededReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 23, 2014Boy calls 911 - "Hello I need your help!"
911 - "Alright. What is it?"
Boy - "Two girls are fighting over me!"
911 - "So what's your emergency?"
Boy - "The ugly one is winning."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 25, 2014NEGATIVITY
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade.
So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable..
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're
crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible
airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who the fuck cut your hair?"ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 26, 2014There is no "I" in Team unless you are speaking French.ReactReply
- NUNudeJohnnyJan 26, 2014
il est sans aucun doute un "je" dans l'équipe.
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 26, 2014That's what I said.ReactReply
- NUNudeJohnnyJan 26, 2014
The word "Team" translated into French is "Équipe"
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 26, 2014Rain in Southern California. But only one windshield wiper swipe.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterJan 27, 2014I complained to the senator from Maryland, who lives near here, and specializes in immigration policy,
"My sister and brother-in-law were kidnapped by Somalian pirates!"
"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied, "But I don't see how you can blame that on our immigration policy."
"Oh, yeah?" I retorted. "At the time, they were boating on Chesapeake Bay.ReactReply - NUNudeJohnnyJan 29, 2014There are just too many people who make me wish I had more middle fingers.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 1, 2014YAY! Tomorrow is SUNDAY - February 2 - YAY it's Groundhog Day!ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 1, 2014About 50 right now. 6pmReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 2, 2014That's one of the reasons I left Jersey.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 2, 2014California has four seasons, the old joke goes: earthquake, fire, flood and drought.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 3, 2014California mountains could use 12".ReactReply
- MEMemberFeb 4, 2014We had over 30" of snow in the last 5 days in Eagle Colorado. I'll send it your way in the spring.ReactReply