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Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal Poster
Jun 6, 2012One night I went to a local bar and asked the very pretty barmaid
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
"Where have you been all my life?"
She smiled and replied, "For the first half of it, I wasn't born yet."
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- DA
DaveFeb 4, 2014I've read about some things, but a few of these are a little to "different" for me to try eating!
http://travel.ca.msn.com/rd-photoviewer.aspx?cp-documentid=262080708#image=2ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterFeb 11, 2014Anytime my "ex" wanted a decision to go her way she simple said, "But it makes me happy."ReactReply
- NUnudecountry77Mar 2, 2014
man with sticky fingers, plays with glue
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 3, 2014A loser is having a hard time picking up chicks, so his well-traveled friend takes him to a nightclub in Daytona where he tells him that he will score for sure.The loser enters the bar, sees his prey, and begins to barrage her with pickup lines that he acquired from his friend. The young lady continues to ignore him but finally gives in. She says, "OK, I'll spend the night with you, but I've got to let you know upfront that I'm on my menstrual cycle." The loser looks at her and says, "That's OK. I'll follow you on my Moped."ReactReply
- NUnudecountry77Mar 12, 20141 is lonely2 is a couple3 is a crowd4 is a double date5 is a party6 is half a dozen7 is my favorite number8 is how many fingers i have9 is my bed time10 is the first double digit numberReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 12, 2014Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
A: He worked it out with a pencil.ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMar 20, 2014An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cellphones.The wife was a romantic type, and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.She decided to send her husband a romantic text message, so she wrote:"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sipIf you are crying, send me your tears". I love you."The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."ReactReply
- NUnudecountry77Mar 31, 2014PMS jokes aren't funny. PERIOD!
Broken pencils are pointless!ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 1, 2014A day without sunshine is like, night.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 2, 2014I love Southern California - April 2, -2pm - 50 degrees - The sun is shining thru and it is raining.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 2, 2014Gotta love JerseyReactReply
- NUnudecountry77Apr 3, 2014
Love Canada, but hate our winters!
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 3, 2014I actually enjoy Southern California winters....But this one was a weird one!ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 4, 2014I will be out of commission for a while. Today I was beaten up by
a woman. I was in the elevator when this buxom lady got in. I was
staring at her boobs, when she said, "would you please press 1."So
I did. I don't remember much afterwards. The doctor estimates I'll
recover in a few weeks.ReactReply - NUnudecountry77Apr 5, 2014
Good thing she didn't say a higher number!
ReactReply - NUnudecountry77Apr 5, 2014
she may have press another number! wink wink
ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterApr 5, 2014If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 5, 2014The farmer stood in his chicken yard watching hundreds of baby chicks running here and there.
He kept pointing to them and trying to count them.
"One, two, three, four, five, six,... oh, no..." then he would start over, "one, two, three, four, and,... oh, no."
Then he'd start over again.
Finally he said, "I give up. They say don't count your chickens before they hatch but it sure is easier to do
that than it is to count them after they hatch."ReactReply - T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 10, 2014I think I pushed two buttons.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 10, 2014Do you ever get in the mood where you really need to listen to loud music?ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 10, 2014Take off your headset.ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 11, 2014I don't care what anyone says, weightlifting is not a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that's indecision.ReactReply
- NUnudecountry77May 12, 2014why is it called "happy hour"? I wanna be happy for more than just an hour!ReactReply
- T=Tom === Thomas S. TierneyOriginal PosterMay 12, 2014When life hands you lemons, grab some salt and tequila and get loaded!ReactReply